Hi Everyone ! I have been feeling so scared the last few weeks. I have had this past week off from work and I go back to work tomorrow. I needed the week off from work badly. It has been a week of ups and downs for me, good and bad news. The bad news being I got a letter saying my homeowners insurance will not be renewed in Sept. , my first try at a betta fish died 1 day after I brought him home , my siniuses have been acting up and making me feel yucky and bf's back has been hurting badly since yest. ( bf has bad back and this is not new )  The good is that I got a new fish on Monday and he's doing awesome, toke my cat to vet and she's healthly, got my car door fixed finally and had my parents and bf over for dinner. My parents like my bf which I know is good. I know I am lucky and I am grateful. I just hate that I can't shake the anxious feelings. I hate feeling sad. I feel like I'm going to cry and I hate it. I know I'm nervous about going to work tomorrow. I have been a tad bored today. My bf hasn't texted me since like 1 pm when his back started hurting him real bad. I think he might just be trying to sleep through the pain and resting and that's why he hasn't responded to my 2 occassional texts. I have spent alot of time w/ him while I have been off this week and I enjoyed having him around. I hate admitting that it feels weird not having here for like the first time in a week. I know I'm over reacting. I haven't been sleeping well and think I'm probably over tired. I just wish I could get my brain to be quiet for a while. I'm tired of feeling this way. I hate living w/ OCD. I would give anything to make it go away. I know I am just expeiencing the ups and downs. I just hope this wave of downs goes away soon. Peace be w/ all of you and me.

1 Comment
  1. ancientgeekcrone 14 years ago

    Some of your anxiety may be your ocd.  However, we are living in troubled times and maybe, just maybe, people with ocd will tend to react more.  I think another troubling issue is the ongoing health problem your bf experiences, but doesn't give up any of his unhealthy habits.  He still smokes, back pain requires strengthen of the abdominals since the opposing muscles are over-stressed.  Is he managing his weight, which more than a little exacerbates back pain.  Does he know his body mass index, does he have high blood pressure or are his cholesterol levels, where they are supposed to be.  All this issues must be playing in the back of your mind, since you have an investment in him.  Some discussion about these things may alleviate some of your gnawing anxiety 

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