So yesterday – I finally put my foot down and decided enough, was enough. I wasn’t going to take anyone’s crap anymore (unless they’re paying me to do so EI: My employer)

Example:

I had this friend – I had known her virtually half of my life. We had been through a lot together. Problem was, everything I can think about that we had been through, she had caused. 1 out of every 5 fights, she had caused or let someone in her life start up. It was always drama with her! It was like she lived for the drama. She fed off of it. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Of course, I cared about her, I loved her but I just couldn’t take it. I couldn’t keep forgiving her when she would say something mean to me or let people in her life say horrific things to me. Yet she wanted me to have respect for her? That’s not how this works. You’re friends, you respect eachother. Not, you’re friends and you respect them but they have no respect for you.

For some examples (so people know where I am coming from). When I was 18 – I met this guy online, then met him in person. I was a bit freaked out by him and he seemed a bit obsessive. I ended up meeting someone else whom I liked more. Then this guy and her started talking. I can’t really remember the reasons why, but one night her and I are on the phone. She says she’ll call me right back. When she does we’re having this conversation and started talking about him… all of a sudden I hear a third voice on the line and I’m like "wtf?" It’s him! She totally tricked me! It’s not like she told me said person was on the line with us. But she full well freaking tricked me! And do you think she cared that I felt betrayed by her? Hell no! It was like it was a joke to her!

Another time. She had some lame brain friends. At first they were ok with me and then all of a sudden they hated me. It didn’t much matter to me but they were super close to her. But they were aweful people. Aweful to her. They would tag team her, make her feel like trash, talk bad to her and about her and play all sorts of mean things on her. One day, her and I get into a massive fight. Next thing I know I have this horrific email from one of them telling me what a horrible person I am – talking bad about personal things about my family and telling me I should kill myself! Now, how did this girl get my email? Furthermore how did she find out about personal and intimate things in my life and about my family? Why was the topic of my life and my family EVER a discussion between my friend and her friends?

There was a point where her and I started to see eachother. I wouldn’t say we were "dating" but there was something between us. We were going to the same College. Afterwhile – those friends of her (again) didn’t like me. I ended up moving kind of far away and one day I came to the school to visit her and my boyfriend. She was ignoring my text messages. I finally get one back from her and she told me to "leave her alone". Meaning forever. She didn’t want to be friends with me anymore! Out of the blue! No reasons! I didn’t understand. She didn’t want to be friends with me because of them. I knew it!

Another time, she came to my house and one of her other friends came over. The guy I was dating at the time even went and picked this friend of hers up so she could hang out with us that night. We had planned on going bowling. Unknown to me this chick had other plans. She kept trying to get us to go to some party. We get to the bowling alley. Mike and I go inside to check on the pricing. And my friend is outside with this chick. After a while things got kind of weird. All of a sudden my friend didn’t want to go bowling. After she had been looking forward to it all day. She started to act funny. Finally I got pissed. I said fuck it. We were going home. I wasn’t going to let some outside bitch dictate what I was doing for the night. Esp some chick I didn’t get good vibes from. On the way home it was one disaster after another. I got into a huge fight with my friend and started to walk home. At that point I told her to just GO HOME! I didn’t want her staying at my house anymore (she was spending a week with  me). Her bar fly friend had tried to use us for her own goals.

Then there was this time with her boyfriend (this is the time I can not forgive her for). I think less than highly of her boyfriend. I think he’s a scum bag and he treats her like dirt. So much so she alters things for him. She alters herself, her personality, her happiness… its so stupid. One night she was staying at my house. The boyfriend calls up. She puts him on speakerphone and doesn’t want him to know and asks me if I think he sounds drunk. I said "kinda, but he doesn’t sound like my mom so I’m unsure" (my moms a drunk) Somehow they get into a huge fight on the phone while shes in my room. I’m sitting on my bed, on my laptop chatting with friends online. I burst out laughing at something my friend Britney says. All of a sudden the boyfriend is talking shit about me! He thought I was laughing at something about him or something. He starts cussing and carrying on. Acting like a total moron! Cursing me out, saying horrible things about me! She ended up breaking up with him that night. Swearing she would never be with him again. Because he would do that shit all the time to her. Esp when he was drunk. I told her, if she got back together with him I would not be her friend. What did she do? After she left my house. She talked to him. He talked her down from her decision AND she got back together with him. She didn’t tell me at first. Because of what I said to her. But I ended up finding out and stopped talking to her for a long time. He still to this day has never apologized to me for him acting like an asshole for no reason. Furthermore, he has still said other things about me. Yet she doesn’t want me to say bad things about him out of "respect" for her?

So you tell me does it sound like this girl has ANY respect for me? Also, if a relationship is that bad from the beggining – it’s only going to get worse. He still acts like an ass to her. They fight and whatever. So it’s only doomed to failure anyways. But she will hold on as long as she can. Why? She says she loves him. But I think it’s out of the fact she doesn’t want to be alone again. This is as good as it gets for her and she doesn’t want to loose it. Although she deserves much better than that scum bag! Also, I’m starting to think she likes the drama. She likes having drama in her life and it gives her meaning and substance when her life is isn’t so fun.

Anyways, I’m just tired of forgiving people. I know they say you should forgive but I can’t keep forgiving peoples trespasses against me. I want real friends. Friends who do care about me and respect me. Friends who act like adults and their significant others do too. I’m just so tired of drama.