Boy, am I getting anxious. Sometimes I can get so perfecshunistic, it’s scary. Yesterday I contacted University of Western Ontario about the application deadline for occupational therapy. The deadline was that same day! So I completed the application form. One of the essay questions asked about two emerging trends in the Canadian health care system and how occupational therapists are well-positioned to play a leadership role on healthcare teams. I had no clue about the trends. Or at least that’s how I thought.
Luckily, I know a soul-saver who works with the healthcare system and she emailed me what she knew. I feel horrible, however, at how I integrated (or rather didn’t) integrate the first part of the question with the second. And, then, later after I submitted the application I had this stupid, brillant insight of how occupational therapists are well-positioned to play a leadership role on healthcare teams.
This really bothers me because now that I know I could have done better (I realize I am in the realm of could have and should have’s; how do I get out of this realm? Pick up that book, go for a walk), if I’d just have taken a break – and not been so gung-ho. Not only are these could have’s and should have’s haunting me, I am worried about worrying about when I will hear back from the University.
What happens if I’m not accepted? I really want to go to that University. I could spend a year working at Subway and such, dealing with my inner demons that fear nothingness.
It seems that’s what happens when you fear nothingness. You get nothingness.
I don’t know what else to put. I’ll start by having breakfast, seeing where I can access that book, and going for a walk.