Boy, am I getting anxious.  Sometimes I can get so perfecshunistic, it’s scary.  Yesterday I contacted University of Western Ontario about the application deadline for occupational therapy.  The deadline was that same day!  So I completed the application form.  One of the essay questions asked about two emerging trends in the Canadian health care system and how occupational therapists are well-positioned to play a leadership role on healthcare teams.  I had no clue about the trends.  Or at least that’s how I thought. 

Luckily, I know a soul-saver who works with the healthcare system and she emailed me what she knew.  I feel horrible, however, at how I integrated (or rather didn’t) integrate the first part of the question with the second.  And, then, later after I submitted the application I had this stupid, brillant insight of how occupational therapists are well-positioned to play a leadership role on healthcare teams.

This really bothers me because now that I know I could have done better (I realize I am in the realm of could have and should have’s; how do I get out of this realm?  Pick up that book, go for a walk), if I’d just have taken a break – and not been so gung-ho.  Not only are these could have’s and should have’s haunting me, I am worried about worrying about when I will hear back from the  University. 

What happens if I’m not accepted?  I really want to go to that University.  I could spend a year working at Subway and such, dealing with my inner demons that fear nothingness.

It seems that’s what happens when you fear nothingness.  You get nothingness.

I don’t know what else to put.  I’ll start by having breakfast, seeing where I can access that book, and going for a walk.

Kali

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