The Hippocratic Oath:

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:

I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.

I will not be ashamed to say "I know not," nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.

how is it possible that any doctor makes this stupid oath and doesn't uphold it?

How come when I go to the doctor for help, im judged, basically told that i'm a drug addict, and offered no help.

She was no help to me. She has turned me into a mess. She didn't belive a word I said. She almost had me in tears as I walked out of the doctors office. She even tried to contact my shrink to verify what I was saying.. of course he was unavailable, so i'm left with nothing to do, no where to go. Is it MY fault that I'm so F'ed up that I have to have a valium every now and then to try and settle myself down? I guess it is. And I guess there is no helping me.  I just don't know what to think, what to do. I feel like running away. I don't even know how i'm going to face the therapist on friday. I don't even know how i'm going to face the day tomorrow. I feel humiliated. She had no idea how much courage it took for me to ask for her help, and she might as well bitchslapped me in the face and said "F you". I hate this. I hate my life. I hate everything. .. suicide is an option right now. I feel like i'm in a state of shock.. like i'm completly numb. I've been in my bedroom since I got home from that appointment, and wasn't able to eat anything. I caught myself just laying on the bed staring at the roof. There is nothing there. Just hollow nothingness.

I want to drink. I want to drink so so bad. I just want to be gone. I'm not worth it. I'm not worth anything.. I'm not worth "saving".. I'm not worth "hope".. i'm worth a big fat zero.  I think I need to get away. Run away. kinds of like when a dog runs off to die.. thats what I feel like I need to do.

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