I have decided to do something new with my OCD. I will keep a journal and track what gives the OCD power and why I could be so afraid of this particular fear. I have never done this before, but I believe that this will help me understand my feelings better. There are days I simply sit around thinking about my fears but I don’t really try to understand them. If we are to face our fears then we have to learn why it is we have them.
I will go further than simply keep a journal. I will post it on OCD Tribe so that others can see what I am experiencing. Sharing my fears in the past has always healed me and I know that being open will help me again. I would appreciate any honest thoughts about what it is I experience.
My OCD is sometimes very personal and thus the reason that what I write may be offensive. If you are then I am sorry but I can’t hide it. OCD focuses on what we desire the most.
These are the fears that I face during the day through the week.
The fear of being overweight: I see someone who is unhealthy and I am afraid that I will become like that.
The fear of the words I write: I write sentences that sometimes have to be edited because I am afraid that a combination of words will cause my fears to be real.
The fear of hurting someone I love: My OCD tells me that unless I follow a ritual or mental ritual then someone I love may be hut.
The fear of spiritual powers: I am afraid that there are powers such as the devil that may harm me unless I follow a ritual.
At times my OCD is only one of these, or a combination, of these fears. One may think I am a schizophrenic and there are times when I think I have developed the illness. I know that this isn’t my problem despite what I may feel. I have started talking aloud to myself to challenge the fear but this is only when I am alone.
I will write my first journal soon.
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~Sounds like a good thing to do…let us know how it works out. Hope it helps and you gain some insight.
Blue
A journal is a great idea. But remember that writing things down should not cause you anxiety, otherwise it is defeating the purpose. Write things honestly and you will never have a reason to be worried you are going to offend someone. We are all here for each other. (I talk aloud too)