I’m so tired of lying to people. During every conversation I have with somebody I keep thinking to myself “This doesn’t apply to me. Whatever you are talking about doesn’t matter”. It’s hard sitting down in a meeting and nutting out the future structure of your team when you know that you aren’t going to be there for much longer.

It’s not that you are moving somewhere else, or that you have started applying for jobs. Just that you are going to quit your job and become unemployed due to lack of interest. You can’t tell anybody because they wouldn’t understand why you are going to leave. The only person who does know is your boss who is making a last ditch effort to find a role for you somewhere else.

Meanwhile your company has put on a recruitment freeze and is scaling back production. It’s just not going to work out. You weren’t built for this lifestyle. You weren’t designed to function like everybody else. You had no control over the causes, and you cannot affect a solution to the situation you are now in.

One more getup.

Then I can shut down for five days.