There are lots of things I try to pack each day but I am so tired and I don't need to them. I mean things like searching for potential penpals, working on my fanfiction story, organizing my pictures, doing my laundry, replying to everyone on here, and just other random stuff.
I need to get to bed earlier than I have been. I have no time during the day to do anything because I don't get up until 12 or so and I have to go to work by 2 or 3. I got in a quick walk today. I've been driving myself. I've been handling work okay. Though I'm anxious about some things that I can do nothing about. I keep thinking I'm going to come short on money or that I clocked out too early, that kind of stuff.
I also remember last night when I drove home at 11pm I was kind of upset when I didn't see any lights on and assumed my parents already went to bed. My little brother leaves his light on every night because he's afraid of the dark, but that doesn't count lol. I thought my dad would stay up and make sure I got home alright. He's still overprotective and worries. Its nice to know someone cares. When I came in the front door, I saw him come out of the kitchen, and I was pleasantly shocked. He asked if I got home alright. He was waiting up and it felt really good. I just wanted to let that out and acknowledge it. I do have a great dad. He's non-judgemental and he doesn't pressure me, but he always shows he cares in ways like that. My mom's great too. I really am like my mom in a lot of ways. She's a lot like me, but she's also very guarded. Everyone has their own problems and flaws. But for the stuff that counts, they are there.
I could never go to them when I was younger with stuff like me being depressed, but thats because I didn't know any better. I just thought I had to get through it on my own. If I have a problem, my parents are the first ones I go to.
On a side note, when I came in tonight, my 9 year old brother came down and gave me a hug. I hadn't seen him in like 2 days.
I've realized that by even putting negative "your mood" on here, that I contribute to my negativity. That's why I've been trying to put more tame ones. I don't need to discuss every little anxiety or every little depressing thought I have. It reinforces the control it has over me. I'm starting to realize that. I mean even know focusing on all the positive stuff and just letting people know out there that I do have good things in my life, reinforces that there is good things to look foward to. It makes the load just a little bit lighter.