Well it seem like it is time to do another friend cleanse as I like to call them. Last year or was it the year before, who knows, I just went through my friends and just stopped talking to them. Not like I had many left anyways but people seem to be losing their charm to me.
I had this new group of friends at work and for a long while I really held back from trying to be close with them but it just happened and we just started hanging out more and more. The place we work though is no better than a high school. So much drama and so much bull shit which I'm sure happens everywhere but its no fun in any way, shape or form. So it started with the pretty much only guy friend we had there, he just got so annoying and pathetic we just phased him out of the group. I know it sounds mean, sad or whatever but it just happens. I'm still nice to him but he's lost that thing he had that made me want to be his friend. That's what that place does. It just sucks the life out of you till you know nothing else but working there and be degraded and unrespected. ANYWAY. It then moved on to another girl who was very unhappy with her boyfriend, she'd been with him for two years living together playing house the whole deal and she'd cheated on him with most the guys at our work. She started turning into some venomous gossip whore and it didn't jive with our out look especially when the people she was trash talking were two feet away. Anyway we kinda backed off from her and there were three four of us left and we thought this was it ya know. But then recently one of our other friends started acting weird and for some reason whenever anyone has a problem they seem to make it point towards me. Maybe because I fight back or I'm just so easy to pin shit on, I don't know. I made an attempt to clear the air and talk to her about over facebook since in person all she wants to do is argue with me and she just ignored it and we hung out the next night and said nothing when I brought it up so I was like whatever I give up.
Now her and the first girl want to get together and have a talk and I'm like realizing…These people are becoming more trouble than friends should be. They're nice and we've had fun, but this isn't worth it. The drama, the bullshit, who cares..I just feel like all these idiots are going to turn it all around on me and that will be that. I don't need this crap, I've dropped friends for less and I'm about to do it again. It's been nice feeling like I actually had a life. A boyfriend and a group of pals. But the boyfriend will just have to do, he can do without a posse and I'm sure I can too. Oh well.
Here we go again..I just don't get people. The other two girls who are still cool with me are probably just going to go along with whatever they say because that's just how they are. So I'm just done. I have enough dissapointment in my life. This girl who likes to argue with me all the time has to always put up a front like her life is such hard shit and she's from the ghetto and poor and her apartment is barely liveable but I'm over trying to get people to open up to me, I'm tired of caring so damn much when it just turns around and bites me in the ass. I'm just tired. Shit job, shit family, shit feelings, shit shit shit.