I am not sure why now, but OCD has recently laid on the “full court press” lately. I can’t seem to do anything without having to do it again and again until it “just feels right.” It is a very difficult way to live EVERYDAY. I wake up today, and first thing…OCD attack that has me sweating bullets. It’s overbearing. I only write here because I am sure that there are many here that know how I feel, and that is why I am here, the support of like minded people. It causes so much physical strain, that I even have tension headaches 24/7
I have “OCD Bad Thoughts” and if I do ANYTHING at all, and think the wrong thing, I have to do it again and again until it “feels right.” Gets a little embarrassing when I find myself shutting the garage door five times, or turning a light on and off multiple times. I can’t see how this could get worse. I hope to God it doesn’t.
One of the dumbest things, when I unlock my phone, if I think the wrong thing, I have to lock and unlock it again. Stuff that people to 100 times a day without thinking twice, I can’t even do one time without having a breakdown about it.
OCD makes you feel so lonely, because like someone in the show “Obsessed” once said, “it is like you are living in a little box, and there is no room for anyone else but you in the box and it gets lonely.” That is exactly how it feels. No-one can understand that fact that you have an overwhelming NEED to make it “feel right” or it is like you can’t function. The way I like to put it, it is as though you “panic switch” in your your brain is broken and goes off all the time for no reason.
I don’t have OCD, but from reading people’s accounts since I joined here, I’m learning much more about what it’s like. As an anxiety sufferer I can relate to one’s life feeling small, ordinary things that others do being very daunting, and a certain amount of ‘things always feeling wrong’, though I don’t find myself locked into rituals. Why do our brains work the way they do, as if they hate us? I am sorry you are dealing with this and that it’s especially difficult now 🙁
I am going to agree with practicing ERP and CBT, I have OCD I have some compulsions but I usually am able to fend them off until they dissipate, my issue like yours is the thought obsessions also know as pur-o, for example I got to work today turned off my car and had an intrusive thought about contamination “I have ocd fear of contamination” so I started the car again and turned off the car again with a better thought… silly how it works but remember ocd is like a bully its how you react to these thoughts that cause stress.