Im not sure why but I seem to have panic attacks almost daily, it really doesnt make any sense but I see it as a sign of something amiss no doubt……I never used to have them …I live in a place where people are always like throwing up peace signs…its not really a work environment in fact Im not sure if anyone works around here yet they try and show they are cool by flashing 2 finger signs…kinda ghetto from what I was used to when I was an electrician… Id like to go back to working but not sure I could get a med clearence…just one of those things I guess…makes me feel like a bum though and instead of just settling in and figuring Im screwed I have panic attacks like I should be doing this or that…..when in the end its irelavent (sp) I know thats not true because when I worked I guarded my credit like a hawk and kept my rep as an electrician strong constantly going to classes to keep updated on OSHA and changes in electrical code…..Now I feel like Ive been put in my place after working so many years thrust into an environment of people who have lived this way all their life and dont know any better or how it could possibly be better…Im becoming one of them due to my disease……Its been hard not to pull the trigger especially in the middle of the nite when i panic…..I know others are worse off but while I look healthy I know Im not I know what this illness has done to my self esteem my mind and physical body…Im no fool and can see the forest through the trwees….knowing what to do about it now thats an entirely different story…dave
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Another Saturday
prettybiggirl, , HIV or Aids, Child, 0
Just out of a nice hot bubble bath I decided to come visit the site, been some time that...
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Old writings
ScottMoVal, , HIV or Aids, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Stress, 4
Anger, Anger, Anger Its no small doubt that a slow burning, recurring, and small hatred sometimes crops up. Then...
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Have I ever… (Part II)
doogie, , HIV or Aids, Anxiety, Depression, 1
Have I Ever… By: Doogie 2008 Have I ever told you who I was, Perhaps not who, but...
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Couch Surfer
Andre, , HIV or Aids, Personality Disorder, Religion, 0
Today marks a new day for me. I helped a complete and total stranger… I've done that before, don't...
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Maybie this will over relief to confusion
zoca, , HIV or Aids, Addiction, Stress, 1
U.S. police chiefs tour Insite April 16, 2010 Addiction and Urban Health Research Initiative Topic(s): Harm Reduction, Illicit Drugs...
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The Man In The Mirror
axle85, , HIV or Aids, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, 1
I stared hard into the blood shot eyes of the man directly in front of me. Scanning his ridged...
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Looking forward!
Techno, , HIV or Aids, Anxiety, Career, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, Relationships, Social Anxiety, Stress, 0
This is my first attempt at a Blog, it is probably done all wrong but it is what it...
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None
emerald432, , HIV or Aids, Anger, Anxiety, Child, PTSD, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 2
Brenna 8yrs gal live in one room apartment wit her 4siblings 2boy 2gals and their parents all in one...