My chest pains are back. This always happens when I am stressed out. But why I am stress this time? My mother, for once in my lifetime I would love to see my mother become a responsible adult. Yes my mother alcoholic and a drug addict. I have been a responsible adult since the age of 12. I have four children and I have never even been pregnant. I have a 54 year old, a 22 year old and 17 year old with one of the way like I said I am mother of four. Its hard trying to take care of everybody, working as hard as I do and still having to deal with this bullshit. Like seriously i am so tired of being a parent and dealing with other people issues. I am tired of taking care of everybody. Hell I barely take care of myself and here i am playing mama. Tonight just has me at my end. Why would my mother choose to drive drunk? Why must she continue to be so stupid. Why must I be the one to help clean up her bullshit? The pain my chest is from stress but it also show just how I feel inside. My heart hurt because of the disappointment. How long will she continue to do the same stuff over and over again? when will she get tired of being a drunk? When can I rest and not worry about my family all the time? I can't even start a family of my own because I am continously dealing with some bullshit. After spending an hour on the phone trying parent my parent and my sibling i am left hurting, tired, sad and angry. I was robbed of having a parent. My father left for a pack a cigarettes and just never came back and my mother well you read the blog. What I am surprised about is this I have managed to walk away not a damaged as I could have been. Parenthood my goodness when will it ended???

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