I find it really sad that when me and family fight all they have to say is something about my panic disorder, like when my sister says that I'm a drama queen and that i over react when i panic. They like to say i have nothing wrong with me. When my older brother comes over he likes to comment on how me and my younger sister are doing the same school work and that i should go to school. It makes me angry and hurt knowing these people, the only people i have in the house to help me when I'm in need, don't believe my problems. It makes me feel unsafe. I remember when i first started getting panic attacks, id set my alarm clock at 7 am to make sure i was up to make sure my dad wouldn't leave the house. He was the only one who understood what i was going through, so when he would leave the house id feel alone and unsafe. i was a 13 year old baby who would scream and cry whenever my dad needed to go grocery shopping, or would need to go to the corner store for cigarettes. my councilor advised him and my mom to leave the house no matter how much i scream and cried, but it only made it worse.. when they would leave it only made me more angry and panic more. I remember that year when i was accepted for home schooling, they would make me go to the library instead of being taught at home, thinking that it would get me use to being out in public. Again, only made it worse. Its been a few years, i can go to the corner store now, only with my mom or boyfriend that is, but it seems even when I'm fine in public my mind reminds me about my condition and i randomly start panicking. When I'm sitting here alone thinking about my life i ball my eyes out because that 12 year old outgoing girl i use to be never expected things to suddenly turn around. It's not my fault my life is like this.. so why should it be ok for people to judge me on my life. It's not, i try to ignore peoples stupid comments but they just make me realize what i should work on.