Hey everyone-

My second blog here. I'm usually anxious but everyone here is really sweet so far thanks

I have severe anxiety, SAD (it's winter and dark which is fun) and it's easy to "set me off". Every year my family and I go to my cousin's/aunt/uncles house. I haven't gone in two years because of anxiety getting worse. I also felt kind of worthless when my sister got married. Like I was being replaced (we're very close). I assumed so many negative things!! It's a 5 hour drive with (now) 4 people in the car.

I was terrified of going I even stayed up the night before just staring at my bag. I'm here by the grace of God so I prayed about it. Morning came and I decided to go for it. I also read a blog on here about challenging your thoughts 😉 99.9% of mine were irrational. I wanted to do it for me mainly. I had thoughts that they were pushing me away, didn't want me etc…afraid I would panic in front of them, my bro in law would be judgemental, etc.

Fear one: One family member is very "smothering" and that did trigger a panic attack when she didn't get the hint. Nothing happened. I went outside for a break when I needed to.

Fear Two: I was shocked when my sister ran to hug me when she saw I was going. We had fun. My brother in law is pretty cool too. They want me to stay at their new apt when they move 🙂 My family was happy to see me and showed lots of love.

Fear three: I was never judged. I even found out someone I love has bad anxiety and I had no idea. We spoke about it and I offered to help out. I told my cousin and it was no big deal to her. She was someone I thought was "perfect" but I was wrong I was being judgemental

Fear four was I was afraid of or intimidated by another cousin who is beautiful and very well known and got back from the ESPYS. She was awesome and I finally relaxed.

I wanted to share this because it happens a lot. Not just to me. When you're really panicky and avoid things because of it. It wasn't perfect but I'm glad I went. I learned more about myself and loved ones. There's never really anything to fear but we forget a lot. It's Well, I made it so anyone can. The first step is the hardest.

Sorry this is so long, lol, I like to write. 🙂

2 Comments
  1. ancientgeekcrone 13 years ago

    Congratulations, good for you.

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  2. Halogen25 13 years ago

    You have the right idea kiddo. Remeber this, keep it freash in your mind and tackle new fears. No matter what, you are always safe because you carry that feeling inside you. We tend to set our boundaries and the more we avoid, the scarier the outside world becomes. Teach yourself that its really not that scary. If you need more info, look through the rest of my blogs. Everything you need to know is there. :\”)

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