I don't even know where to start to be honest.
I haven't felt frustrated or stressed or tense in a while now and I have been so grateful for that. But then the idiot of a housemate I have to live with goes and sets me off again. She is the most self centred, petty, idiotic, creepy mongoose I have ever met! She is so sly and manipulating. When I was at my worst she kicked me while I was down and made me hit rock bottom.
She was supposed to be my best friend and now I find it hard to even look in her direction. Do you know what is feels like to be called a 'loser' and a 'bore-a-saurus' 5 times a day every single day for months!
I do.
Just because I didn't want to go out and waste my money on partying I was a loser. Because I had never seen a certain film I was a loser. Because I listening to a particular type of music I was 'lame'. Because I didn't want my tea until later I was a loser. Because I enjoy reading before I go to sleep I was a 'bore-a-saurus'. Because I liked staying over at my boyfriends house three times a week I was lame. Because I didn't know the location of a certain city I was a loser. Because spinach is one of my favourite foods I was lame. Because I enjoy cooking and not eating take aways I was a loser. Because I joined the gym I was a loser.
This is just some of the comments I had to deal with. She may as well have beat me down with a stick the damage she caused. Not to mention the amount of times she just laughed in my face!! I have never felt so small and so insignificant in my life.
I decided a short time ago to try and erase everything that reminds me or tips me back to how I was when I was at my lowest and she is one of them. But I can't delete her out of my life. I live with her. I am a student in a shared house with her. I have another 10months living with this vile human being.
I am not an ignorant or unkind person. I still address her when she addresses me but nothing more. I have no respect for this girl at all.
She laughed in my face when I told her I went to the doctors and got diagnosed with depression. She laughed in my friends face when she told her that she had anxiety really bad.
I have been trying so hard to not let her presense get to me but I don't think I can stand it any longer! She is a different person around our other friends, they all dont see what I see.
A part of me is saying don't let it get to me, but the mind isn't at its strongest right now.
Thank you for that I will definitely give that a try. I am open minded and will see if it works for me.
In regards to my house'mate' .. I have tried to talk to her more than once. I just don't think she is a very nice person. Our mutual friend has severe depression, and she broadcast to everyone we knew! It was the worst thing she could have ever done in my eyes.
I do ignore her now. But if she speaks to me I will speak to her I am not an ignorant person and won't let her make me be that way.
There really is nothing I can do about the living situation, we have deposits and contracts signed. I can't afford anywhere else. We live with two other girls so at least it isnt just the two of us. I usually handle it a lot better I just had an outburst of anger last night that I havent felt in a long time.
Thank you for your suggestions and I appreciate the time you took to lend me advice. 🙂