I am new to this website. I am looking for some support please. I have always suffered from anxiety/panic disorder and was diagnosed with bipolar. I made a horrible decision that has ruined my life. I dont know why I did it, i am not this kind of person. But i did it anyway. On christmas of this year, I went to visit my family for the first time in 20 years. I didnt want to go, but my mother made me. She told me if I didnt go, she would never forgive me. I havent seen them since I was a baby. I am 25 now. So i went, and even had an anxiety attack on the way down there. My uncle is a rich billionaire and my mother and I are ok financially, but struggle every now and then. I knew I wouldnt have anything in common with them, My uncle didnt get us anything for christmas, and none of the family I could relate or speak too. I felt as though i was being judged and I wasnt important. My uncle and cousins asked me what I did for a living. I told them, i am trying to get into nursing school, but right now i play rock music in a band. They asked me if I made any money doing it, and i said "no, not yet, but eventually i hope to." They scoffed at me. Later in the night, I found out that my uncle was giving away gold boxes with cash ranging anywhere between 10,000-25,000 to the family members. We didnt recieve anything. He just had a baby with his 27 year old trophy model wife, He is 72. There was a golden box laying by the fireplace with money in it. It was meant for their 7 month old baby. I wasnt sure how much. I dont know what the hell i was thinking, but my heart was pounding, and i was filled withemotion and anger,I stole the box. my mother and I went back to the hotel, they found out it was missing, and they knew it was me. It was obvious it was me. I tried lying about it, which made it even worse. My uncle called the hotel, threatened me and told me im neverwelcome again and give him his money back. There was 10,000 in cash in the box. I left the money in the hotel room for them to find. So they recovered the money. My mom tried to take up for me arguing that i would never steal anything from anyone, which i never would. But i did. She wanted to leave christmas night since she was so embarassed, and I left the money in the hotel lobby in a tree for them to find. The next morning, we were back to where I live, and they wanted me to take a lie detector test. At that point, I told them the truth and where to find the money. They disowned my mother. The whole family looks at me as a scum criminal. I have tried to apologize, no one wants to hear it. My mother can barely speak, and i have never felt so terrible and not like myself. I have not eaten or slept, and its all I can think about. Why the hell did I do this? I feel like I did the worst thing in the world next to killing someone. I am so lost and broken. I know I am a good person and I have helped many people and friends in my life. i have told all my friends about it, and they have done nothing but support me. I am going back to therapy on monday. I thought I was done with my anxiety, but i am not. I would do anything to take back what I did. Please someone help.

6 Comments
  1. Tiffanyfender 9 years ago

    Thank you florida, I did leave the money at the hotel for them to find. I gave it back. and you are right about them not being my family. It just the relationship they had with my mom is severed.

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  2. sleepygirl 9 years ago

    I just read this and I don\'t know you or anything about you or your family, so this is coming from a totally outside point of view. Those people are IDIOTS! Cut em loose and when YOU are rich and famous playing in your band and their little baby says, \”thats my cousin\” you can say, \”who are you people again?\”. JMHO

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  3. Jack21 9 years ago

    If they have so much money, pretty much forced you to come to Christmas, and then gave you nothing they pretty much deserve to have you take their money. Its not like it makes any difference to your uncle anyway if he has all that money. You didn\'t kill anyone, you didn\'t hurt anyone. All you did was slightly inconvenience a guy who sounds like a real asshole. No need to beat up on yourself. I

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  4. moongazerlily 9 years ago

    I don\'t know what to say, it wasn\'t really fair what your uncle was doing giving everyone else a gift of such large amounts of cash and the fact that he got you guys nothing for Christmas… I\'d probably have been jealous and a bit angry if it were me. However, you did what you did, and now all you can do is live with it, especially since no one wants to hear your apology. Maybe they all just need time to cool down. I am glad you are seeking therapy though. I wonder what possessed you to actually do it? Since you say it\'s not something you\'d normally ever do. 🙁

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  5. marie_79 9 years ago

    Your Uncle sounds like a real jerk. You and your mother are just \”financially ok\” and he gives you NOTHING! NOTHING! All the while everyone else around is getting thousands of dollars in cash. You acted on impulse and honestly I might have done the same thing. Except I\'m not as good as you. I would not have given it back.. :/ well not as quickly. They must feel awful NOT you. Shame on them. YOU returned it and now let bygones be bygones. Family like that you might not need. Just ask your mom for forgiveness and work on that.
    Good luck in your rock band! That is bad A**!

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  6. Tiffanyfender 9 years ago

    thank you so much for all your comments guys. And moongazerly… I dont know why I did it… Marie is right, i acted on impulse.. and plep is right too.. i was just feeling angry… I felt like a stranger in their house, and I feel like something possessed me. I felt like it was an injustice that they were so rich and had so much, and gave us nothing. I am struggling with how to move on. Thank you all so much for your replies.. I have read each and every one of them about a thousand times..

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