In the session 3 me and my counsellor talked about my being too hard on myself. I am a perfectionist as she told me again. I expect too much from myself, which makes my life very stressful.Asking for perfection all the time and not allowing myself to make mistakes is a bad old habit of mine. I need to break it down and replace it with a new one.

Everyone can only do so much in a lifetime.Why bother blaming yourself constantly  for things you should have done or should not have done?

The Seven Unspoken Rules of the Perfectionist

1. I must please everybody.

2. I must never fail at anything.

3. I must never get angry.

4. I must never make a mistake in public.

5. People should never disappoint me or do things I disapprove of.

6. Friends and family should know what I need and give it to me without my asking.

7. People shouldn’t try to get me to do things I don’t want to do.

The Seven Unspoken Rules of the Realist

1. I must decide for myself what’s important. I must set my own priorities.
2. It’s all right to try something and discover I’m not perfect at it, in fact, if I haven’t failed at a few things lately, I’m probably not venturing far enough.
3. It’s only human to get angry. I expect myself to become angry under some conditions, though I’ll try to keep my anger from getting out of proportion.
4. I’d rather not make mistakes in public, but it happens to everybody sometimes. If people see me make a mistake, I can live with it.
5. I can’t expect everyone to live by the same rules that I do. It’s better when they act the way I want them to, but I need to accept their faults the way they accept me and my faults.
6. Friends and family can’t read my mind. I must tell them what I need and what I expect from them.
7. Everybody has his or her own agenda, so sometimes people will ask me to do things I don’t wish to do. When this happens, I can always say no.

——————————————————————————————————-

I deleted the original entry by accident. But I think it will be good that I posted it again.

Thanks so much for all the tribe memebers who had read the entry or left comments. I am sorry for the mis-deleting.