In the session 3 me and my counsellor talked about my being too hard on myself. I am a perfectionist as she told me again. I expect too much from myself, which makes my life very stressful.Asking for perfection all the time and not allowing myself to make mistakes is a bad old habit of mine. I need to break it down and replace it with a new one.
Everyone can only do so much in a lifetime.Why bother blaming yourself constantly for things you should have done or should not have done?
The Seven Unspoken Rules of the Perfectionist
1. I must please everybody.
2. I must never fail at anything.
3. I must never get angry.
4. I must never make a mistake in public.
5. People should never disappoint me or do things I disapprove of.
6. Friends and family should know what I need and give it to me without my asking.
7. People shouldn’t try to get me to do things I don’t want to do.
The Seven Unspoken Rules of the Realist
- I must decide for myself what’s important. I must set my own priorities.
- It’s all right to try something and discover I’m not perfect at it, in fact, if I haven’t failed at a few things lately, I’m probably not venturing far enough.
- It’s only human to get angry. I expect myself to become angry under some conditions, though I’ll try to keep my anger from getting out of proportion.
- I’d rather not make mistakes in public, but it happens to everybody sometimes. If people see me make a mistake, I can live with it.
- I can’t expect everyone to live by the same rules that I do. It’s better when they act the way I want them to, but I need to accept their faults the way they accept me and my faults.
- Friends and family can’t read my mind. I must tell them what I need and what I expect from them.
- Everybody has his or her own agenda, so sometimes people will ask me to do things I don’t wish to do. When this happens, I can always say no.
I deleted the original entry by accident. But I think it will be good that I posted it again.
Thanks so much for all the tribe memebers who had read the entry or left comments. I am sorry for the mis-deleting.