One of my neighbors happens to be a foster parent. We saw this family on the NEWs that was living in a trash can and the mothers boyfriend was a known sex offender. The mother was arrested for drugs, neglect and whatever else they tagged on her. There were 3 kids all under 6.. I believe. Well, my neighbor got the 2 year old boy who was very ill…I would think so living in a trash can. Not the cleanest place to put a toddler as you know..they put their fingers to everything. She got the call from the child services and he arrived at 2 am. I was very shocked to see how he took right to her and sat in her lap as if he knew her all his life. I thought for sure he would show some signs of trauma, but he seemed totally fine except that he had the runs really bad. 

You know, a part of me feels angry toward the mother and then again..I catch myself and realize it is wrong for me to judge..as I don't know what she was dealing with or facing. Bad things happen to GOOD people too. The devil seeks whom he may destroy and kill and this is what comes to my mind. I'm so sad to see our young people being destroyed by drugs and many of them are trying to self medicate to forget some emotional pain. And I realize as common sense will tell you ..most of them are not in the right frame of mind to make good choices. So I guess having the kids taken away and placed in a safe environment is the next best thing for the safety of the child…yet they still suffer. 

I have noticed a lot of children want their parents even if the parent/parents were abusive to them.  They suffer emotionally when taken from a parent because its a very traumatic event and I'm sure there will be emotional scares for life unless dealt with through therapy. That makes my heart bleed, because it's so unfair to the child. They're not mentally mature enough to reason..so they feel abandon and rejected. A lot of fear ..and how can you calm this child's mind & heart? Most of them don't even know how to put into words what they feel nor able to articulate what they're feeling inside. SO they suffer in silence.

My heart goes out to parents who are raising their grandchildren and are living on low income with their own medical conditions. How do they cope and is it always best for the child..even though it's better to be with someone who is family? I dunno…I just don't know.

Raising children today without parenting skills can be very difficult. I took it upon myself to learn all I could because my parents taught me what I didn't want to be as a parent when I grew up and had my own children. I worked very hard to learn as much as I could cram into my head and of course it takes time to bring into practice  as well. Of course..the first child is the one who gets the shit end of the stick per say…as we always mess up because of lack of knowledge, but common sense has always helped me.

I think a part of me became obsessed with being a better parent then my parents were and breaking the chain of what I called the "Generational Curse" that I feel was assigned to my family blood line. I guess being well was the most important place to start and I guess thats why I got into psychology at such a young age. I was looking for answers as to why people do what they do, what brings on different behaviors, what makes ppl tick. 

I wanted to become a Doctor or a therapist, but I was worried if I could handle the pain. How can one not be effect by another's trauma? And because I really love people .. I have always picked up on other's vibes, be it sad or happy..I didn't think it would be healthy for me to do this for a career. I'm just too sensitive to other peoples pains. 

Like this woman who was arrested and lost her kids..most people would slam the book at her and throw her away. Yes, I am angry too because she exposed the children to a well known sex offended, but I know people do not just do this for no reason…something is going on inside of her and the drugs she used to escape the pain only destroyed her life. Makes ya wonder, this is what happens when people don't have a safety net or a family to jump in and offer support.

Oh well, I hope and pray God will put someone to cross her path and get her the help she so badly needs. I hope she can forgive herself..because I know that pain very well…my mother suffered the guilt..and I had to really comfort her. Even when our parents mess up, we must learn to forgive them..as I found that God put me in my family for a reason & purpose..which was to break the chain. She is little by little coming to forgive herself, which I always tell her..If I forgive you & God forgives you..why can't you forgive yourself. Let us create tomorrow and look forward to the future, amen? LOVE heals all things…love will even cover sins. It's the most powerful force in this world…and it's the easiest thing to do. 

First we must start by LOVING OURSELVES and then we can love others. I learned this and everything that is dear to me hangs off this rod of LOVE. I know I am not perfect, but the fact that God loves me and his mercy is new each morning..tells me that God loves me as I am..and with time, he will create me into the woman I am to be…which I feel will take a lifetime. It's a journey which we must seek out and discover. Guess what..I'm enjoying the journey and the freedom I have to fall down, to learn from my mistakes and find forgiveness.

Ok, I'm out of here! {{{HUGS}}} BE BLESSED!