Porn Addiction
Many people may argue that no such thing exists.These people are wrong. Though the label "addiction" in this case is not a physically accurate one, it is psychologically accurate. Lets first discuss what it means to be anaddict…
Addict:1:to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively<addictedto gambling>
A compulsive need.
Pornography emasculates men, degrades women and destroys marriages. Pornography desensitized you to the point where you are never satisfied. You need more porn to temporarily relieve acompulsive need. Eventually leading to more explicit, violent and repulsive content, you will become so desensitized to what "intimacy" should be, it will take more porn to achieve and maintain that same satisfaction. This is comparable to a drug addict's need for more drugs over a period of time to maintain the same level high. You inevitably rob yourself of the ability to love. Porn addicts have such a distorted view of sex through their addiction that it is impossible to engage in a healthy relationship which in turn leaves a porn addict enslaved by his own addiction… Alone and trapped in a viscous cycle of filth.
I believe that individuals who have addictions to pornography were expose to some type of sexual content as children. These are people that at a very young age learned behavior that dehumanizes woman. They learn that "no" means "yes" and that women liked to be used. This is how rapists, molesters and murders are made.
A study done in the Oklahoma City area: When 150 sexually oriented businesses were closed, the rate of rape decreased 27 percent in five years, while the rate in the rest of the country increased 19 percent. In Phoenix, Arizona, neighborhoods with porn outlets had 500 percent more sex offenses than neighborhoods without them.
What does pornography do to marriages?To be blunt, pornography is the perfect way to shoot your future marriage in the head. Imagine that a young man has a habit of using pornography, and he does not reveal this to his fiancée. He hopes that once he is married, the desires for illicit sexual arousal will subside. But what becomes of his lust once he marries? It does not disappear; it is foisted upon his wife. The pornography has trained him to react to the sexual value of a woman and nothing else. He has trained himself to believe that women should be physically flawless and constantly sexually accessible.
Even if he rejects this intellectually, the fact remains that pornography has warped the way he looks at women. You could say that he views the world through porn-goggles. He only knows how to look at women through the lens of lust. One psychologist who specializes in sexuality problems noticed, “the more time you spend in this fantasy world, the more difficult it becomes to make the transition to reality."
Provided a man’s wife is a life-size Barbie doll with a squad of makeup artists and hairdressers who follow her around the house, things might run smoothly for a time. But when reality confronts fantasy, the man will be left disillusioned, and the woman’s self image will suffer. No real-life woman can ever fulfill his disordered desires and fantasies. They focus solely upon self-centered gratification rather than mutual self-giving and joy in pleasing one’s spouse.
One woman explained that if a man’s real-life partner is not always as available sexually and willing to do whatever he wishes as the women he has fantasized about, he may accuse her of being a prude. If she looks normal, and unlike the models he has come to adore, he may accuse her of being fat. If she has needs, the passive images in the magazines, then she may seem too demanding for him.
In other words, he will be quick to blame his disorder on her; his fantasies will have robbed him of the ability to be truly intimate with his wife. One reason he is unable to have healthy intimacy with his wife is because intimacy is not an escape from reality but the capacity to see the beauty of the other. The presence of lust in the heart of the man blocks his ability to view the woman as a person. He has reduced her to an object and ignored her value as a person. When this happens he forfeits love. True intimacy is impossible.
It has been said that the problem with pornography is not simply that it shows too much but that it shows too little. It reduces a woman to nothing more than her body. Thus a man will assume that the greater the body, the greater the value of the woman. With this mindset men not only expect their future wives to look no less perfect than Miss September; they also don’t appreciate a woman’s most beautiful and precious qualities, since a centerfold display can never reveal these. This drives men to look elsewhere in an impossible quest to satisfy their lust. After all, pornography fosters the false mentality that casual, uncommitted sex is the most fulfilling and enjoyable. Who does not want to be fulfilled?
One response to the marital dissatisfaction often caused by pornography habits is to bring pornography into the bedroom. This is a vain effort on the part of the man to have the illicit excitement he has formed an attachment to. The poor wife may allow this, but the joy of loving has escaped the man, who no longer sees the value of the person and the need to deny himself for her. Married couples who use pornography find that their marital problems only worsen. If a husband needs to pretend that his wife is someone else in order for him to be excited, then he will become less and less drawn to her. Instead of making love to her, he is destroying love between them. At the very moment he is supposed to be renewing his wedding vows with his body, he’s committing adultery in his mind.
(purelove.com)
I was flipping through the channels a couple days ago when I landed MTV where I saw a man sitting with his family at dinner. I stopped to watch assuming at was an interesting program about young families when in fact it was about Porn Addiction. I watch as this man's poor wife and children had to live with his uncontrollable addiction to pornography along with the stories of a yojng man who watched 10 hours of porn a day and the story of a woman in the porn industry. You never truly understand the heartache that comes from porn addiction until you are the victim. Remember, to be an addict i s to have acompulsive need. When watching porn interferes with your family and daily life…its an addiction and its self destructive. I have seen many programs dedicated to the issue of porn addiction on many talk shows and it is something that I would like for more people to be aware of yet it is something that people dont like to talk about.
Not only is pornography a overwhelming and destructive part of our society, It has become so mainstream that it is polluting the minds of teenagers and kids. More and more I hear about children as young as eight and nine years old having sex. How is this possible?! Who is responsible for sexualizing these children? Will these kids grow up to have healthy mature relationships and have healthy nuclear families? Or will the viscous cycle continue truly turning this into the sexual generation.
Jason Evert, One of my personal friends and also the founder of Pure Love and Chastity.com is one of the most influential people I have ever met. Not only did he help me through a transitional period of my life but He has traveled for years with his wife speaking to young men and women about sex. After sharing some of my hardships with Jason he gave me some of the best resources and advice that I could have ever gotten. He also put my story of transformation into one of his latest books which I was honored to be a part of. I absolutely recommend:
www.Chastity.com
You can also watch all Jason's motivational videos on Youtube.com @
www.youtube.com/user/bostonrespectlife.com
I recommend all the videos. They changed my outlook on womanhood and relationships.
I also recommend a book written by Jason's wife called "Pure Womanhood"
These are great resources for teens or young adult that have sexual active life styles or just want a different outlook on what a relationship should be.
Individuals who recognize that they have a porn addiction should absolutely get counciling and help. For the sake of your family and you future, please find the courage to want to change. YOu can only be helped if you WANT to be helped. No one can make you change but you. I recommend annoymous groups or private councilling.
www.xxxchurch.com
If you are interested in being a part of a cuase that helps fight child abuse and explointation… Join these organizations that I am proud to be a member of.
www.pervertedjustice.com
And if you want to help a cause and love ROCK MUSIC you might want to check out this site I Love!!!
www.rockagainstchildpornography.org
I agree that my implied "discussion" leaves little to no room for a formal argument. My apologies. I wrote this particular blog about 4 years ago. I could have gone back and edited it to be more politically correct…but I did not.
I only introduce the [irrelevent ] subject matter this way. I would like to believe that people would define an addict in their own terms in addition to the dictionary definition I provide.
I would hardly dismiss the subject matter as being irrelevant….though you are intitled to that opinion.
Thank you for your input.
This is just my opinion on the subject. One that I do feel strongly about therefor it may come across as a bias overgeneralized "attack" on all persons who watch porn. Its not. And I am not going to judge anyone who does watch porn…its not a crime(unless it is). I have had experiences with this and I know first hand what an EXTREME case can do and that is all I wish to share…spinkled with a pinch of facts. Most of this blog–which again, I wrote several years ago– is my[strong] opinion backed up with some support and some resources for anyone who may have an issue. Lets just say this is partially the foundation of why I am here in the first place…I dont mean to offend anyone…