My two if my main addictions, shopping and drinking, are psychological. These are mildly better than physical in my opinion, but not much. I don't need to drink daily. I don't even think about it until someone mentions alcohol and my first reaction is "I'm social, I need to relax, when do I drink again?" and I calm myself down and say "I will wait til the weekend" most of the time I wait til the weekend even with the bottle in my room, I don't touch it.

Then when I start, I can't have a few, I have many. Binge drinking. That's the problem.

The shopping is, if I can't relax looking at things online I am a basket case. Distract me with anything you can! I send the ring back and now I have $300 in my Paypal account which won't last long. But I don't need all those things.

The third main addiction is caffeine. If I stopped I would probably have bad headaches. I never stop I drink 3 shots of espresso a day plus caffinated sodas. They wake me up and make me feel alive but they also make me anxious as fuck. I think I'd rather be jumpy and alive than morbidly depressed. Morbidly depressed is the worst. That is why I'm always writing on our sister tribe, depression tribe. Yep, I'm always on there blogging!

Well one good thing is I hate drugs. I even dislike meds. I don't want anything other than my normal SSRIs because I know I'd probably have horrible side effects with other meds or I would probably like the anti anxiety ones so much I'd get badly addicted. Pills are not something I should mess with. I can tell by my drinking binges, shopping sprees, eating binges and caffiene consumtion. Keep pills AWAY FROM ME!!!

2 Comments
  1. Jewel 12 years ago

    Hi, just read your blog. I consider myself to be an alcoholic and I was also a bing drinker on occasion. I was very functional , work and family, but still an alcoholic. Just please be aware. This disease is very decieving and addicts are the best at justifying and excusing. Take care

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