So, I'm thinking of quitting my job. I used to love it. Now every day is just dragging myself to the computer. My boss I swear is bipolar. Some weeks she's nothing but praises, while others I can do nothing right and find myself cussed at when I ask questions she thinks are dumb. It's seriously getting on my last nerve.
So much in fact that I told my husband yesterday that I had had enough. One more time of getting cussed at and I'm done. Right then, right there, she can handle it all herself.
Maybe I should explain further why I hate this job so much.
- I get paid decently, but in comparison to what she gets paid for the work I do, it just isn't enough. She makes about twice what I do-after taking out my wage- and doesn't do a fourth of the work.
- I'm not getting a raise. Haven't had one in a year and a half. The last bonus I got was my first Christmas, and it was $50.
- Sometimes I feel like I am the only one doing any work. However, she never has a problem with telling me just how busy she actually is. It's too bad you have such a short term memory. You've been telling me you're writing that 500 word article for the past three days.
- I hate being treated like I'm stupid, and I feel like most days that's exactly how I'm being treated. I know this article needs to have good information in it geared toward our client's audience. Do you think I intentionally pull crappy information out of my ass and put it in these articles on a daily basis?
The only problem with quitting is that I'm SCARED to. I know that's ridiciluous. But it seriously does scare me. The last time I tried to reduce my hours so I could take on my own client (whom I had already secured) she flipped out and I got cussed out. I ended up dumping the new client just to create peace. Cuz that's what I do. I'm a pushover, people-pleaser.
In the beginning of our relationship, she always wanted me to be more assertive, use my voice, stop saying that I'm sorry. I really grew for a while. Then everything changed. All of the sudden I was being punished for arguing or having my own opinion. After I tried to argue my point and was punished by receiving only $60 worth of work for two weeks in a row, I made up my mind it would never happen again. I get upset still, especially when I know I'm right, but most of the time I don't even bother to have an opinion anymore. I just say okay and move on.
I know what this means. I need to find a new job. I wish I wasn't so damn scared to take that next step.