Time to get my life in order, because while I love my ex dearly, I accept that she's gone no matter how much I miss her.

I've got some plans to distract myself from my feelings until I have the ability to just deal with it (around when school gets out in May I figure I'll be able to handle the stress). Until then I"m going to 2 raves next week, a magic the gathering expansion launch party the week after and I've been spending plenty of time with my headphones in music blasting.

I'm starting to realize I don't really need anyone in my life, and shouldn't expect to, because everyone ends up leaving me anyway. While a lot of is from my decisions, either way I know no one will "always be there" and my family will be out of the picture soon just like my ex. I have some superficial relationships in my life but nothing meaningful, but that makes it easier to give it all up.

The good news is at least I'm quite good at knowing how to have fun. I find my ways to let it all out. I have 2 AM walmart runs, go to concerts and raves, I drive randomly to Seattle or wherever it please me to go. I'm adventurous and I'll figure it all out somehow. I have an appreciation for microbrews and good whiskey, and of course good music. I can game with nerds, I can talk politics and history and current events with people twice my age, and I can pull an amazing date night out at whim, even the people around me can't appreciate it.

The one thing I'd like to work on the most aside from my emotional stability is my physical appearance. I've still got some work to do there, I gotta hit the gym a bit harder since I work an office job, I've got to still get a couple more teeth fixed at the dentist and I gotta do a bit better job in the whole body grooming issue (genetically I'm kind of a hairy dude…it's not a good look on me). And then of course there's the social thing…though to be honest I don't really give a crap about that right now because every person I've trusted in my life as of late has let me down.

Onwards and upwards, or else!