I’m a fresh under grad, I have recently joined a job and honestly since then I started having anxiety breakdowns all of a sudden. I feel like I don’t know anything at work, I have talked to my manager and team mates about this but I still I’m not able to control my anxiety. It’s like I’m scared to wake up every morning and I’m scared of the work that is being assigned to me.I’m not able to talk to people without getting nervous breakdowns. And I feel like my manager and team mates are taunting me and making fun of me for not knowing the basics. I’m not able to eat food and I feel stressed and anxious throughout the whole day. Even during weekends when I think about work I’ll start getting severe anxiety attacks, It’s like I’ll be frozen at a place and I feel like I might collapse but still I’m not able to move. Everyone’s saying that since it’s just the start of my job I’m feeling like this and once I get a hang of my job I won’t feel like this, but honestly it has been 2 months since I joined and I’m still not able to control my anxiety. Infact I feel that my anxiety is getting more severe day by day. Honestly, I also tried doing other things like going to walks and doing exercise to get my mind off it, but I’m still not able to control it. I don’t know what to do, I feel like I can’t control my anxiety anymore, please help me. To top it off when I try to ask for doubts from my manager or team mates I hear them throwing comments like “I don’t how she’s going to survive here”, after hearing it my anxiety has gone uncontrollable, I feel like no one is understanding me and I have no one to share too. Please help me I don’t know what to do

6 Comments
  1. brettlea94 3 months ago

    Hello. It’s normal to be anxious when starting a new job. It definitely is when you are also a new college student. You have a lot of priorities and responsibilities that are increasing. We all go through stages in life where there is more and more responsibility. I remember when I first started working at 18 that I would sweat throughout my whole body sometimes because I was nervous. It got to the point I got some of that monkey butt stuff to reduce any odors from sweating. After about six months I was in a great rhythm though. I started school myself and have been working and obtained an associates and bachelors degree while working and paying all my bills solo. It’s been a struggle at times, but everyone struggles at times. (Thats okay 🙂 ). I’m now on my masters degree and getting prepared for a Ph.D program soon. I also still work at the same time and have never had a lapse. It sounds like you can “catastrophize” about your situations. That is where we will have an issue and then think of the worst possible things that can happen and ruminate over them. It just makes the original issue worse and worse. Stop that in its tracks. It’s normal to get anxious. (Actually good to survive). But, it’s not to be over-anxious. (Hyperactive). There are all kinds of remedies: learn about ways to slowly improve and take action. (Small baby steps). Walking and exercise are great as you said you tried. Don’t stop ! Keep practicing that until it’s a habit. (Especially when it feels tough). Learn about/ practice mindfulness and meditation. They are similar but also different. Meditation “trains” the body and brain to relax and focus. Two amazing things for us humans! Mindfulness teaches us to just “be”. Not to “be” what our parents, teachers, society, preachers, peers, friends, co workers, etc. want us to “be.” But, just to be who and what we are because that’s always amazing no matter what. So how can you improve this? Three steps again: 1. Learn about it, 2. Take action( small steps), 3. Practice, practice, practice ! Don’t give up ; ever. You can do it. Then go help someone else that feels that way later. Because you will understand it better eventually. :). Have a good day.

    Also, try not to really care too much about what co workers say that can be crude or mean. Some people are negative and mean. That’s also okay :). But you don’t have to be that way. Just accept they can be mean and that you are not going to be. Don’t say it, just do it.

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      anonymous2021 2 months ago

      Thank you for the support, I hope it gets better. But honestly, I feel so scared I know this phase is not going to last forever but I can’t control feeling anxious and scared day by day. And sometimes I feel like I have chosen wrong career field and I should give up everything and just quit, but I don’t want to give up easily. It feels like I have no one to talk to at work, because when I ask any doubts related to work then no one responds to them and then I feel like an idiot for asking the doubt, and now I’m scared that if I screw up anything at work it’s going to get much worse. I know I’m just a fresher but it feels like they expected me to know everything and they are looking down on me for not knowing anything. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I feel I shouldn’t have choosen IT industry as a career. I never felt this low in my life. I’m trying everything I can to overcome this, I’m learning as much as I can and I’m still going on walks and doing exercise to keep my mind off it, but I just feel so scared and anxious to talk to my team mates and think about work in general. I hope it gets better.

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    • ldakota14 2 months ago

      Glad you mentioned the word “catastrophizing.” My heads been a major mess and that is a major part taking over that I wasn’t able to recognize til just now. I need to be reminded of all the DBT words to keep myself on track. Thanks for your post!

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  2. mute 3 months ago

    I too have been where you are, as far as feeling anxious starting when you wake up. Then having it last all day, to the point where you can hardly eat anything. I have found in my life that it is usually a point where many stressors are going on at the same time. You just need to know that at some point it will play out and you will feel better. Sometimes I feel like I can’t necessarily control or make my anxiety better, I feel like all I need to do is to make it through it. It WILL get better. Sometimes it takes days, sometimes months, sometimes years. You need to find a way to be patient with it and with yourself. That being said, there are things that help but they need to be done on a regular basis for a long time period to help calm your system. Regular exercise, yoga, meditation, the right vitamins for you, positive affirmations, writing and journaling… Also, learning everything you can about anxiety and how it works.

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      anonymous2021 2 months ago

      Thank you for the support, I hope it gets better. But honestly, I feel so scared I know this phase is not going to last forever but I can’t control feeling anxious and scared day by day. And sometimes I feel like I have chosen wrong career field and I should give up everything and just quit, but I don’t want to give up easily. It feels like I have no one to talk to at work, because when I ask any doubts related to work then no one responds to them and then I feel like an idiot for asking the doubt, and now I’m scared that if I screw up anything at work it’s going to get much worse. I know I’m just a fresher but it feels like they expected me to know everything and they are looking down on me for not knowing anything. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I feel I shouldn’t have choosen IT industry as a career. I never felt this low in my life. I’m trying everything I can to overcome this, I’m learning as much as I can and I’m still going on walks and doing exercise to keep my mind off it, but I just feel so scared and anxious to talk to my team mates and think about work in general. I hope it gets better

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  3. ldakota14 2 months ago

    I am a hugeeeee advocate for people doing what they love. And huge kudos to you for committing and completing so much schooling! That’s crazy hard and did it! Congratulate yourself on those major accomplishments. And woah! You landed a job where you think you aren’t quite qualified?! You know what that means? Your bosses saw that potential in you. And they were willing and WANTING to hire you because they believed you would be successful and an asset for their team. Starting something new is terrifying and can take such a long time to find flow. I worked a job that took me 6 months to feel confident in even using the right language or performing in front of anyone. And it took two more months to feel confident enough to explain the things I knew so deeply to anyone else. (But that was also because I had a crap boyfriend at the time that made me think I was pretty dumb and couldn’t communicate effectively with anyone soooo ‍♀️) but I worked through it and became bada** at that job and I’m grateful always for my experience there(it was something I was truly passionate about).

    Do you think you’re passionate and excited about the work your doing and learning with this company? Maybe you can start looking around for other work? If you aren’t comfortable with your coworkers, then it really might not be the right fit and you should have enjoyment in going to work. It’s a huge part of your life!!

    Either way, proud of you for all the hard work and committing months to a job. Sounds like you’re really driven.

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