That first step.

So beyond scary for me, I have taken many “first steps” all paths lead to nowhere. I never follow through, I am fantastic at making plans, setting goals, getting excites and pumped up for change, only to deflate and get slapped in the face by my bipolar anxiety filled self.

Can anyone out there relate? I honestly hope not, I don’t wish mental illness upon anyone. I have a handful myself, Bipolar Depression, Anxiety, Ptsd and OCD. I have been on so many combinations of “happy pills” I lost track, but recently Lithium was mentioned as an option and it really freaked me out. First let me say I am in NO WAY< SHAPE OR FORM trying to disrespect anyone who may be on Lithium, but for whatever reason it scared me to think that I would be a great candidate for that medication.

It was then and there I decided to take myself off of ALL the medications I was taking and try to tackle life unmedicated….. “How’s it going?” you may ask. Well, it was really rough at first, it still is, but I mean I had a few “episodes” that could have been scenes in a HBO series. SCARY. But, I have started using a TON of the ‘Coping skills” I have learned in the many groups I’ve been in and let me tell you…I’m still here!!!

SO, this is part of my “first step” to healing my mental illnesses, maybe not healing, but learning to live with them and find my own peace.

I don’t know where this will go or how it well end..hopefully well, but we shall see….so someone please take my hand and lets do this!!!