My nan does my head in,she doesnt know what im going through or how im feeling and she's making me even worse.

Why does she have to do my head in? she hates me and im really annoyede with her,she cant rule my live. i dont feel strong enough to go apply 4 college 2day and wasnt in the right mood to get out of bed today but she just has to start and make me even more worse!!!!! I just fell as if she's trying to rule my life but i know what i can and cant do and i couldnt go to that appointment 2day as i didnt feel strong enuogh.she says that she understands but does she hell!!!! I feel like running away or doing my self in just so that i know longer feel on a downer all the time. I have to get away from everyone before i kill them,my heads about to xplode bcuz they are winding me up and trying to rule my life.

I look at my life and all i see is a black hole that im in and there's no way out. i dont think that ive felt like this in a while but there's no1 that i can turn to because if i go to my doctor or any1 else like the crisis team all they say is that there is nothing they can do basically and that i should help myself but i cant with the way that im feeling. Even if i tell them how i'm feeling,feelings that i would be better off dead and that im having strong feelings of killing myself.all they say is that we all have our own minds and what i choise to do is my decision so basically they are telling me to go and kill myself because nobody cares and nobody woll be botherd. I just feel angry,on a downer were i just want to bead but ha who cares because the ppl that are serpose to help dont care and dont wana help me!!!!!!!!!!!