I thought I'd write a post since it's been such a long time. So…what's been happening?

Well, for the past six months, since the end of my last relationship. I've been living back at home with my parents and sister. I'm unemployed, which I hate, but my family are willing to support me until I find something right for me. I think they feel sympathetic to the fact that I worked horrible jobs in the two years since I graduated, and understand that I really don't want to sell myself short anymore. I'm a fairly inexpensive daughter to 'keep' so I think that helps. It's weird not having my own independent space but the home comforts are nice. The town I live in is too quiet and a lot of my old friends have moved away so I'm not planning on staying any longer than necessary.

Job-wise, I've been looking for some media and marketing work, but am also looking for general office work to tide me over. I'm digging my heels in and refusing to apply for shop/bar work, I don't know how long the Jobcentre are going to allow that but so far they've been ok with it. I'm still unsure with what I want to do specifically, I've signed up to do a Photography course and might be starting some volunteering work doing social networking for a charity but I'm still learning about myself and my ambitions.

Here's the odd bit. I haven't felt any prolonged depression since the breakup. I obviously felt upset about it, but not as much as I thought, in fact I went into a sort of autopilot state of self-preservation which I haven't really come out of. I've had moments of sadness, anger, etc, I think I'd be a bit weird if I hadn't. But I've never thought I wouldn't get through it, not really. Now all I feel is slight regret that it got so nasty between us (shortly after the breakup he went into vicious hate-campaign mode). Not being able to get a suitable job gets to me sometimes too, but I never feel down for more than a few days. I've also become really comfortable with being alone, something I've struggled with for years but now feels fine. I don't drink nearly as much, I've still had some crazy drunk nights with friends since and enjoy the odd drink but the intake has dropped dramatically. I've also lost weight, I'm not sure exactly how much but I know it's at least a stone and a half. As a result I'm feeling a lot more confident.

Basically, not the usual sort of post from me. It's all good though, as you can see


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