Well the 2 year anniversary of my Dads death is fast approaching and I hate it. I miss him so much he was the world to me. I only had 9 years with him because the first time I got to live with him I was 17. I still can't believe that he is gone and it makes me sad when I think about him. I try to remember all the good memories that I have of him but they are starting to fade away. I don't have very many pics of him but the ones that I do have I cherish very much. It's even harder because my little sister was only 11 when he passed away and I think she took it really hard. She is taking a different direction with herself and I try to be there for her but she lives in FL and I can only do so much from CT. I talk to her everyday through myspace which is good. I know that she cuts herself to deal with the pain and I don't want to tell her mom because then she won't tell me anything anymore. I think that she is confused about a lot of things in her life and is lost without my dad. She was dady's little girl and he spoiled her rotten. I just don't know how to help her so any advice is welcomed. I deal with it by talking to my hubby about him and I get sad because I miss him so much. He had this thing he use to do to everyone when they were drunk lol he would say "You dropped your toe" and people would actually look. He got me with that a couple of times and I would crack up after I realized what he said. I wish he was still here with me and the rest of the family. He was such a great person and loved his children all 9 of them and his grandchildren very much. I'm glad that I got to be in the hospital room when he passed away but at the same time it killed me to watch him pass on. I will never forget hearing all of the machines beeping until the nurse came in and shut them off. I remember a peaceful calm coming over the room but it broke my heart. He was so young he was only 45 when he passed away and I still have a hard time accepting it. Thank you all for reading this.