My “Monday” is tomorrow. I can't shake this feeling of dread. I don' t understand it; I used to love this job.Well, that's sort of a lie. I do have some very valid reasons for not wanting to do this job anymore. I'm tired of getting stuck on the register even though I've been there longer and do my job better than the new hires, and the boss won't train the men on the register. I can lift way more than some of those guys and still get treated like a weak link. The egomaniacal asshole the boss hired (a friend of his) who has no retail experience and makes up prices for shit being totally inappropriate, sexist and racist has me literally biting my tongue all day. Another of the boss's friends (a real old creep) who comes in to help will say disgusting things to me, but only when no one is around and then complain to the boss that I'm “unfriendly”. If he tries to put his hands on me again, I can't guarantee I won't hurt him. I get shit on for asking legitimate questions. I can't stand these customers who act like everyone's out to screw them over and act accordingly (usually the people who have nothing that anyone wants). I've gotten sick twice recently from working outside; when I get back from taking off for it, I get stuck with shit jobs like I did something wrong. And then there's the stress fractures I've had in my arms for weeks that I can't tell anyone about or risk getting fired, or worse, stuck on register every day.I used to feel a sense of purpose here, like I was actually doing something with my time that was worthwhile, not just being a body in a store pressing buttons.Dammit. This all sounds so melodramatic. I'm looking for other jobs, but with nothing but a high school diploma, my options are limited to a lot of the same. I want to get a higher education or some technical training, but I think I waited too long. Now I'm a married adult. My husband works, and is starting his job training soon. I just don't see when it could happen. Couple that with not having any ambition or memory anymore, and things are looking pretty dismal.
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Thank you, camino. Hearing that gives me a bit of hope 🙂