I always have nightmares when I fall asleep and weird images when I close my eyes… but this was a different story. It felt very real … scarily real. I had a dream that I had a boyfriend but he ended up trying to strangle me so I killed him. I also killed someone else for some reason I can't remember why or how. I remember something to do with a train track and a cliff? I became very anxious people would find out and carried on my usual life. I got on a train with a few friends. A bomb exploded and left me and another girl who I didn't know in the part of the intact train with my friends disappeared. Then I just remember walking out of school and the police waiting for me. When they saw me they started to arrest me and I felt everyones eyes upon me. Then I just remember everyone finding out and seeing what happened on facebook with everyone's reactions.. including people I knew and didn't know. One girl at school which I haven't really got on with commented ':o take' what does that mean? I remember watching my story on the news like I was sitting at home watching it from my telly. Then I remember watching the other girl walk out of the station. They were blaming me for the bomb when It was her. I told them to watch the cctv which proved it wasn't me and they let me go? Not charging me for the other murders. I woke up thinking it was real and in complete shock. Then I started to come round and see that it wasn't. I just couldn't believe how remorseless I was! I would never be able to kill anyone, If I did by accident I would probably kill myself! So so strange… I know my psychiatrist would tell me it shows my deeply hidden anger and anxiety but still very strange….
Strange Dream…
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Just a rant.
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The day i crushed my daughter heart and soul
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here is the full version of the letter my daughter wrote to me one day, it's a constant reminder...
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New Lifes Experiment
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Today was a very big day. The start of hay season for me because we finally got some decent...
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Diagnosis
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I’ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember but I was clinically diagnosed about ten years ago....
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And then she…
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Joined the roller derby. First practice is Saturday morning ! Constructive inflicted harm . It works for a fun...
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My F***ED up life
5am1, , Anxiety, Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Obesity, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, 0
I feel like I just need to rant about everything that has happened in my life. Okay, so to...
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*Language Warning*
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Hmmmmm, they don't seem to have "want to destroy the entire world" as a mood option. Just doing senseless...
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Derealization
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Recently, I’ve been having bad derealization episodes. I’ve struggled with many things before, but this, by far, is the...
