Last night was rough. It was my last night in a hotel room by myself in one of the most sinful cities in America: Miami. I was extremely tempted to indulge in my sexual addiction by calling an escort service, going to a massage parlor, or visiting a swing club. I did none of those. I didn’t even look at porn. I feel strong and in control now, as if sleep and discipline kept me from doing regretful things. One of the things that helped was logging on here and communicating in the chat room. I ended up having a private conversation with another member on the site who welcomed me to really reveal the compulsive sexual thoughts searing through my brain. She told me it was going to be OK if I opened up. So I did. This morning, I see she has removed herself from my friend’s list. This is the flaw with weak minded people. She pretended to be concerned and interested, but then made it clear and obvious, that she had no desire of being helpful, but simply nosey. And then, without taking any of my feelings into consideration, removed herself from my friend’s list. Now, I know it shouldn’t matter and it’s simply petty of her because she got scared or simply doesn’t have the mental maturity to recognize compulsion as a true mental disorder. That doesn’t mean there is any true harm that could possibly be committed via a web site. Besides, her ridiculous pleas for attention via her “pay-attention-to-me” photos should have clued me in to how superficial she is. It doesn’t matter. I still feel better having unloaded my manic thoughts and I am happy that I didn’t do anything stupid last night. Even though I still feel a reduced level of anxiety, I also feel like I did the right thing…and that makes me content.
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A horse is a horse, of course, of course
foozywuzzy, , Depression, Anger, 0
The date last night went…alright…it went well, but I’m not thrilled. (Maybe because nothing much is thrilling me these...
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Thank you,simi
claireismyname, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Sleep Disorders, 0
So im gonna keep blogging. maybe track my moods or something. so its monday 9th july, 7.41am. I have...
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Is it me?
Anon321, , Depression, Child, Depression, Infidelity, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 1
Well, this isn't really about depression. But I don't use any other forums so have nowhere else to release/ask....
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Birthday Blues
galloping_sam, , Depression, Grief, Weight Loss, 0
My self harm isn’t about being a part of a cult. It doesn’t justify who I am, and isn’t...
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Am I Asking Too Much?
sadviolinist, , Depression, Anger, Sleep Disorders, 1
Today started out good. My husband and I decided to go to a waterpark in Orlando (Wet N Wild)...
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Getting Well
sadviolinist, , Depression, Anxiety, Medication, Religion, Therapist, 0
So I'm back for the first time in months again. Its been a hellatious year of medicational fog, but...
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Families amd depression
KatieMarchi, , Depression, Depression, Relationships, 1
Today I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. My daughter was crying for me and I still...
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Overwhelmed
sadviolinist, , Depression, Obesity, PTSD, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, Weight Loss, 2
I know I haven't been really good about responding to the notes and pictures that have been put up...
i'm quite curious now what might have sparked this type of reaction from others here. was the conversation or whatever it was, that outrageous, or indecent? yeah, ok, so i'm nosey…just trying to figure out why or how a person could cause such an outrage from ppl when there were two ppl involved in the 'incident' that occured, whatever that incident was. have both sides of this 'incident' been explored and heard?