1. After dropping my dad off at work my mom and youngest sister decide to go out and spend money.
2. They called to ask if my sister, her son, and I would like to go, forgetting that my sister has a date and my nephew won't cooperate, especially if they wanted to go eat at Denny's or some place like that. Forgetting that we are supposed to be saving up for a new vehicle.
3. My sister refused to try and give my nephew a nap, said he wasn't tired when all she did was sit down with him in her lap expecting him to fall asleep just like that, KNOWING he won't fall asleep without music and being rocked.
4. I had to make my nephew take a nap. He didn't fall asleep till 5:40 pm so he won't be going to bed on time tonight.
5. I have to babysit on my day off. On the day that my friends asked if I could go hang out with them. I feel like I let them down, but even if I went I doubt I'd be much company right now.
6. After my dad telling me yesterday that no one cared if I lived or died I don't want to go anywhere, do anything, much less take the place of my nephew's mom. RIght now my tolerance is so low I feel like I'm on the verge of snapping at somebody (not my nephew).
7. My dad is still trying to take back what he said yesterday by saying stuff like "I love you," but I won't hear it, much less respond. I can't get any of it out of my head.
Why do people do the things they do then think they can fix it with words? Words are nothing but meaningless empty things to me. They can't even fix what they broke inside me by running out to spend money. They can't expect me to just forget things like that and smile as if nothing ever happened. It just won't work. As for my sister, I don't foresee her as changing. I can't even sum up any questions to ask the universe about her. I only know that she has added to my troubles today and doesn't care in the slightest. I'm still looking for that hole to crawl into that no one will find. A place I can cry, be alone and never have to deal with all the stupidity surrounding me anymore.
