Does anybody really know how to pinpoint when their anxiety or depression started? All I can remember is walking out of 8th grade going to high school and the next thing I knew I had a therapist my 10th-grade year. I guess you can say I hated myself here and there and felt sad and cried myself to sleep at night, but I never gave it any attention I thought that was normal. Anyone else felt this way like it was normal to cry yourself to sleep at night almost every night like what was I thinking, thinking this was normal lol. Let me just start off by saying I don’t take depression or anxiety as a joke I’ve been diagnosed and doctors even considered a psychiatrist for me at one point not too long ago like a month or two ago I know the struggles. But as a teen, most of us hate getting emotional or showing our true feelings so I’m trying to make this blog, or whatever you may think this is, a little more uplifting I guess, or ” light”.

I guess starting off with anxiety will be best for me since I know exactly when it started. Anxiety for me wasn’t ” omg there are people, AVIOD AVIOD AVIOD”, yes sometimes it’s like that, but mostly it’s like this ” Um what exactly am I suppose to say to this person”   ” should I say something or no ” ” ugh I have to speak to people again”. My anxiety did not start off nice and easy it started off with a whole lotta pain physical pain literally and anxiety attacks and a lot of hospital visits. When I hear other people telling their stories of how anxiety first started for them I get jealous some people usually start off like ” yeah I notice I get ever nervous, but not the feeling like I’m about to pass out or anything and slowly it would go away” in my head I be like damn I wish my anxiety started off like that I had no warning or nothing. I swear every anxiety attack I had made my serotonin levels drop everytime I think about my anxiety I blame it for my depression like it’s a real person or something this is my fault it took me years to get a therapist and I knew I needed one and yet reality still has yet to settle in. Anyways talk to yall tomorrow I guess maybe if my motivation is alright.