I didn’t make my way into the chat room last night. Thats a big change for me. I was actually quite tired, and decided to have an early night.

I went shopping today. Picked up some great bargins in the stores. I got two pairs of shorts and a top for just under $30, which I was quite impressed with.

When I got home, I realized that there was going to be nothing on TV so I ventured up to the video store to hire out some dvd. One of the DVD’s I got was a movie called "Miss Conception". Basically about a woman who has only one "egg" left and wants desperatly to get pregnant. This movie got me thinking on how much I’d love to have a baby. I really would. I don’t know if i’d be a good mum, but I would definatly love to try. I’ve been thinking about this alot recently. Unfortunatly for me,the likleyhood of that happening any time soon is not good.

I don’t think any man would want to be with me anyway. I’m far too ugly. I’ll probably be one of those women that have to use artificial incemination or something. I don’t know. I wonder if I will ever be given such a presious gift? I don’t know if i deserve it. Maybe i’ll never have children? 🙁

This evening I have been feeling very sad. Very low. It wasn’t just the movie that got me like it. It seems like everything is against me right now. I don’t know what to do, or where to go. I’m trying soo hard to be strong, but I feel the weight of everything just starting to weigh me down. I know i shouldn’t be thinking negative thoughts, I try to be positive, but it seems to just come back and bite me.

I havn’t been feeling well this evening. Feeling a bit queezy in the stomach. Not sure why.


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