When you are trapped in support services, with no friends who really know anything about your close relationships, its hard to get back in contact with those close relationship bonds you had as a child when you dont know where they live now. No one to pass messages on to prove its them. You ask them a question and they reverse it into another question, only telling you what bits of information youve just said to them, playing a cruel game, teasing you, trying to make you angry to see what you do in the fight when i just dont fight, i want knowledge, information! No games when im worried about my family, i think its sick. Ive been in care homes, hostels and foster care, hospitals, services all splitting me up from my homes, always wanting to move me somewhere different, isolated again from the last place. I have gone years without friends because ive had fake message blocker friends pretending they dont know about my family or who they are. The staff dont tell me anything at all, they call it “support”. They pretend theyre telling me how to order food by asking if i want to go to a food factory too see how its made, saying its just like a list on excel spreadsheet, they all divert the real answer to a dead ens then say “so is that all you want to know” obviously not, they wont teach me how to buy food theyre just teasing me. Then they put google voice on their phone saying where does the pot noodles get made and tell me the address. I have bled my heart out to these people only to find out they want nothing to do with me, the suppott. Do you not think they should be driving me to my real parents houses, telling me their names, or even getting them to come here, chatting to them online and getting me to see. they also wont let me get a job. Steal all my clothes. Yet if i get moved again out of here i have no ones house to go to or no one to tell where i live to come to my house. Well, i have this one friend who i suspect is a message blocker also i met in hosp. Going to post this unfinished blog before it deletes it all again.
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It Is Okay to do your best, make mistakes and to do better
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I’ve never loved someone- I’ve never been in love before. I’ve written about it in great length in my...
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I’m two sessions in with my new therapist and so far I feel like I’m dumping toxic waste, but...