Let me tell you a little about myself. Since school infact even play group when I was 3 years I have been a outsider. People tend to use and abuse me they pretend to like me befriend me even but then the abuse from emotional to physical starts. Boyfriends even husbands have abused me up to sexual abuse. ( i've been married twice ) Why do I get treated like this i often wonder then the self hatred comes in and I believe i need to be punished and that is why.

Forward in time to 2008. I met a old school friend and we hit it of the moment we met things happened and we parted ways as friends but there was always a part of me that missed him and knew I had found someone like me someone who wouldn't hurt me someone I had fallen unconditionally in love with.

Time past by and I re married and I never stopped thinking about him I missed him. My marraige became abusive and I wanted out but thought I couldn't cope on my own. My family were happy I had met someone they thought was a 'saint'. 2011 circumstances arrose where I was able to get in contact with the man I so muchlonged to be with again. We started talking , he made me laugh , he made me like me again I could stop pretending to be something I wasn't just to get people's approval.

Yesterday marked 3 years of me and my wonderful man getting back together again. Some how fate brought us back together after years of missing each other. We went to high school together , he walked me to school , he worked with me at my dads pet shop and selling christmas trees in the cold snowy outdoors keep warm by a oil drum fire pit. He married so did I then our paths crossed once more and I can honestly say I am so so THANKFUL I have him in my life.

The sad part though is I have lost some family and my daughter for this happiness. Is it worth it , yes it is. I see my daughter once a month and phone twice a week and email once a week. My family members that refuse to speak to me ,well they can go jump!