Wow Good morning all. I have not been on the site for a while to do really any Cruz in. But I woke up this morning just feeling grateful for being able to wake up. I have been threw quit a bit in the last couple of months and have not really wanted to share about it But you know non of it was really bad just a whole lot of it. so I guess you can say it has been over whelming. So waking up this morning and having the things and people in my life that I do I just got really grateful. In meetings I always say when the topic is brought up of gratitude that it is action. But this morning not only am I going to show my gratitude but also feel it. The first thing I am extremely grateful for is that my daughter is ok. (We were in a motorcycle wreck 3 weeks ago) and GOD snatched her up and sat her on the side lines. I was pretty banged up and the bike was totaled. But we are alive. I am grateful. Next I am grateful that my bike was totaled. I am not getting a new one (and that is OK) but the note that was on that bike and other ties I had to the X Moleman are now CUT completely WOW what an awesome feeling. I no longer have to take his inventory nor do I have to pretend to like him. WOW again what a great feeling to be out from underneath him. I am grateful that I was capable of feeling again for someone extremely special in my life. And was able to let him go to do what he needed to do for himself. To come to decisions that would affect him for a while. I was able to remove my hands form the mix and just be. WOW again i did not have to enter my 2 cents and try to fix it or him. And things worked out the way he needed them to work out and I must say they have turned out pretty good for me also. He is still in my life today and we are working on making it for a long while.
But I think what I am most grateful for this year is that I have received many opportunities for growth. And have taken every single one of them. I have learned so much about me this year. Was able to put a lot of things about me that I was not able or ready to deal with before to bed this year. Now a lot of it I was forced to go threw. But I recognized it all as a time for growth. A lot on my lessons have been in the heart. And this year I discovered that I have one. One that laughs and cries one that heals and gets hurt. But most important is one that loves me. One that wants me to be happy. I have learned what true friendship really is. I have learned that if I and happy inside then who ever comes into my life will add to that happiness not be my happiness. You know all these lessons that I have learned I have been threw many times in my recovery. Why I did not learn what I needed to back then? But I also realize that God has me right where I need to be and there are no mistakes today just lessons in Joy…. not Jimmy, Cassy, not anyone but me.
My thanksgiving is a special one for me this year. I would nominally go to the local club houses and just spend time with my AA family. But this year I am at very special friends house and am spending this day with his family and what a great day to be alive and present. Not just existing.
I choose to participate in my life today 100% the way that I went after recovery. What amazing gifts come to those who work to achieve them. I know I am love today, by me, My family, and my new family, for just being the best that I can be.
So gratitude is an action word and a feeling and I am going to show my gratitude today by being present and participating in the festivities and I am going to feel gratitude today but letting everyone around me know that they are loved. Not just from my heart but the bottom of my heart.
You all have an amazing day today. Let the people around you know that they are special to you (they might not know) and today life is way to short not to let anyone know my late husband taught me that. And within the lessons I learned this year so did David.
From my family to yours we wish you the best of holidays we wish you piece, love and happiness.
Joy, Cassy
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