So I am new here, and I have never felt so welcomed in my life the people of this forum have opened their hearts up to me in making me feel less alienated.

I was told over the phone by a doctor about my diagnosis, I have studied medicine prior to me switching my degree, I actually wanted to go to med school and become a epidemiologist, I actually wrote a paper on a genetic immunity that occurs in about 15% of the European population. I knew that the virus is not a death sentence like that when it was first discovered; I know that the advancements in medical science and treatments will allow a patient to live a normal healthy life. But that did not stop me from going off the deep end when I found out about my diagnosis. I was told over the phone as I have stated before, although knowing about this Virus and knowing that it is treatable did not stop me from well freaking out. It was bad I went on a four day hiatus

I know a lot about this virus and how science has advanced to allow those with this to live a fully normal life. But that still does not stop that feeling of the uncertainty, nor does it stop the fact of the feeling of being alone in all of this. A few of my closest friends know. I have no clue on how to even date now my recent diagnosis changed some of my future. I am in college and I had plans on wanting to join the military but that has now all changed. Many thing have changed in my life since I got the phone call, I have seen a doctor but I have doubts about the doctor not only because of bedside manner but the facts that she stated she is a research doctor, but does not seem to know the about even the most current experimental treatments, and She works for the Cleveland Clinic. It is bad enough that I have no clue how to tell my own mother about this, but the fact that the doctor does not even feel comforting is a big issue for me. It sounds stupid but I feel so alone in all of this and I have no clue how I will react to treatment. I guess I am really scared and I have no clue about anything that I am going to encounter, I had a women who has a MSN (Masters of Science and Nursing) her area of expertise is HIV, and she told me that it is like living with Diabetes, I may know she is correct she, but I still feel alone and Scared in all of this.