Living with HIV has been tough especially when your married. I was diagnosed 12 years ago strictly by accident. My wife and I were applying for life insurance and needed to take a health assessment which required blood testing. It was a very tragic and stressful time for both of us. Being newlyweds and having this hit you head on was not just life changing for me but knowing that I had unprotected sex with my new wife and fearing that she too may now be infected was even more devastating than you can imagine. For weeks and months my wife made regular visits to the doctor for blood testing and luckily after it was all said and done she was HIV free but the real struggle was now coming clean on how I got the disease in the first place and the secrets I was hiding. The years before my wife and I met were a very interesting time for me. I did a lot of bar hopping with my friends and drank a lot at the same time. Sounds pretty normal for a single guy in his 20's but I also had some uncontrollable sexual urges that the alcohol only intensified. I wasn't sure if I liked women or men. I was never any good at meeting or talking to women and found it much easier talking to other guys which doesn't mean I was gay it just required less effort.My drinking made me take significant risks. Driving drunk, putting others at risk, starting fights with people. But sex was my escape and it always put me into a comfort zone that I enjoyed being in and never wanted to leave. After a while, my sexual desires hit a low point. I was so desperate for it that I began looking for it and soon began paying for it. May times even having it unprotected. Hookers, street walkers and even frequenting gay bars to find it. This went on for months until I realized that going to the gay bars I was not only finding some nice people to carry on a conversation with but if I was lucky the sex was going to be free and the best part I think was the acceptance. I didn't need to give anyone money for sex, these people wanted it with me just as much as I wanted it with them. I think that was the turning point, it wasn't just about the sex it was about acceptance.
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Thefts
LoriB, , HIV or Aids, 0
Snopes approved. I locked my car — as I walked away I heard my car door unlock I...
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I created a monster
pink68, , HIV or Aids, Career, Child, 4
20yrs old daughter wtH!!!! People warned and now I DO NOT wnat to deal. She thinks she is so...
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Your Vagina is like the Myspace Extended Network – Do YOU Use Protection? [part one]
miss_empowered, , HIV or Aids, Child, Questions, Relationships, Sex Therapy, 0
I'm sorry, before I get started, that title cracks me up. It really does. And I hope that those...
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Another Blinding Day
dobguy1, , HIV or Aids, Anger, Child, Sleep Disorders, Therapy, Weight Loss, 0
So, here I am again still in NC pondering what the hell Im doing. I mean sure i wrote...
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Lessons in life, doctors, friendships ending
livelyintellectual, , HIV or Aids, Career, Relationships, 1
Today I went to see my doctor in my new city for follow up. I still have some pain...
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Do You Agree
lisa218, , HIV or Aids, Career, 0
Do You Agree? Where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I. -Jesus Christ You need...
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My new results
herbalpeasant, , HIV or Aids, Child, 0
So I got my latest results back… the Viral Load has dropped severly which is totally awesome, but my...
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UAE Doctor Tahir Akhtar became an honorary member of the World League “Mind Free of Drugs
AliiaM, , HIV or Aids, Addiction, Religion, 0
Jenishbek Nazaraliev, a famous doctor, president of the World League "Mind Free of Drugs" met with the chairman and...