Today (Jan 28) a kind elderly doctor gave me the most shocking news. I AM HIV POSITIVE. Let me take you back a little further, when it all started.

It was December of 2011, the Christmas buss in on the air. Everyone was so excited to go on leave for the holidays… my request was denied. So the stupid loyal me kept on going to work till the official New Year holiday started. I find myself alone in the office a few times but i didn’t mind. I buried myself in my work despite the splitting headache and fever i was feeling. I thought it was just my sinusitis. I even gave a company presentation while shaking profusely with fever, but my bosses took it as me being my usual nervous breakdown. On the day before new year break, i also broke down. I foolishly went to work with a fever, blinded by my fear of my bosses. I was scolded by my partner. How insensitive. I was there spewing my guts out and instead of bringing me home, he got mad and gave me Taxi fair instead. I threw it to his face. I went home….

It started with a splitting head ache. then vertigo, nausea and vomiting. It was ugly. i suffered for days. finally i went to St Luke’s but the doctors there did not find anything so i was sent back home. I suffered some more. Then, one night, i went BLIND. i could not see a thing. it was frightening. My brothers pitied me and sent me to USTH. There was a series of tests: MRI, LP, etc. It was difficult. I was diagnosed withCryptococcus Meningitis. Thanks to my family, friends, and the love of my life, i survived the ordeal. Now, i’m still taking my medications till March but i’m getting betting.

This is what i wrote in my FB account. But little do they know, there is more… much worse news.

We where asked to come back for a follow up check up. My loving father went with me. From that kind old doctor, very subtly we received the bad news. I tested POSITIVE for HIV. i was shocked…. my father was devastated. I can see it in his eyes…. he tried to console me with a hug but i think he’s the one who needs consoling.

Immediately, i took the phone and called my partner. What if he leaves me when he finds out? What if he hates me for putting him at risk? I’m ready to let him go. Then he answered. He guessed it without me telling him. He said it was fine and that we’ll get through it. As usual he scolded me about not taking care of myself more, but he was ok with it and that’s all that matters. I asked him. He said he’ll never leave me.

I am very open to my family so it only took a few minutes and everyone at home came storming to the hospital. Maybe for support. I felt like the most loved man on earth.

My life changed since then.

2 Comments
  1. Appreciative1 9 years ago

    Kirkie,

    I was reading your post/blog and wanted express my feelings of condolences even though that doesnt seem like the appropriate word. Not to sound insensitive but I am working on a vocational dergee to work with those who are going through the exhausting and strenous situation that you are. My work has brought me to similiar sites to understand and value people while appreciating their pressing situations. I just wanted to see if you had some positives yet that you could reflect on. I am not sure this is worded with the empathy that it is inteded but I suppose that is a drawback of our new age form of communication, internet.  Thank you!

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  2. kirkie8 9 years ago

     Oh my…. you dnt need to feel sory. i dnt even feel sory for myself. read my other blogs… this is the first of all of them…. 

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