I'm just tired of putting up with my parents. Mainly my mum but my dad as always follows her and is so far up her arse because he's spineless, a walking doormat. My mum is psychotic. She needs testing she needs to go to doctors but I know she won't because she don't accept it and is scared because they will or should throw her in a room and chuckaway the key. She is impossible to live with. Tonight has been one of many nights where I literally have visions and very nearly did run for the knife to stab her cruel heart and chuck her outside for animals to scavenge her. She may have given me life but she's unbearable to live with. I'm a student trying to hold down a job and extra studies, I have most likely got some form of personality disorder and this week has had additional stresses from university and neighbours being disruptive and druggies. I do not tell my family anything to do with mental health because they do not care and I don't feel the need to waste breath or energy in telling someone who ain't interested. They're just a donor and incubator for me really. Family don't do this to you. Parents don't ignore what's going off, don't tell you they ain't bothered, don't want to understand and help you. Siblings don't wish death upon you in terms of suicide. Dealing with the news of being even more insane than I've been told previously seen as I've had many diagnoses. It's hard to deal with let alone being continuously threatened that all my stuff will be chucked away and I'll be kicked out. I don't need it. I've already had to get extensions on my work because I can't hand it in on time when I've got shit to deal with. Right now I can honestly say I'm so low and even considered suicide. I am so upset and pissed off I can't juggle all this. I just want sleep.

n