Hi, my name's Pat.
A little about myself;
I'm 19 years old and I've been struggling with social anxiety for roughly 3 years now. I had a fantastic childhood and had a great time in middle school, and I have loving parents and a sister. I am an uncle to my beautiful neice Aurora (my sister wanted a 'unique' name) who just turned 2.
That being said, my social anxiety completely wrecked any social life I once had and made high school completely miserable and intollerable. The biggest problem I face is not being able to talk to anyone in-real-life (mind goes completely blank) and the intense feeling of constantly being judged. As such, I have spent the last couple of years inside, my 'life' revolving around the computer
I've spent the last hour or so reading a bunch of blogs on here, and was pretty surprised by how active this site is. I've visited a couple other forums for anxiety and they were nowhere near as active as this. It also really makes me happy to see that a lot of people on here have a loving spouse and/or children, and are living a normal and happy life despite their anxiety.
Mostly every activity I do revolve around catering to my anxiety. The things that run through my brain before doing anything are so ridiculous that they often make me laugh. For an example; earlier this evening I was craving some junk food, so I decided to go to the gas station to get some chips, as they were the only things open this late. Before I left the house, I decided I wouldn't go to the nearest gas station, as it's a friday night and this particular gas station was near a few bars, so I figured there would be a bunch of teens hanging out down there. So I decided to drive an extra 10 minutes to a gas station in a very remote location where I could purchase my chips without anyone seeing me. Like, honestly, this kind of stuff is so insanely obnoxious yet I can't stop myself from thinking of stuff like that.
Oh yeah, here's another one too:
I got good grades in all my academic subjects in high school, but I failed gym because I skipped every class, as at the start of every period, the teacher would say "get a partner". Those three words always made my heart sink so I just completely stopped going. And because of this, they didn't let me graduate. Lol!
I've been extremely lonely the last few years, and probably wouldn't have left the house at all if it weren't for my job. But last week, I finally confided in my sister and told her about all the problems I was facing. It was the first time I've ever told anyone. She went ahead and scheduled a Doctor's appointment for me. I have always wanted to go to a Doctor but I've always been way too embarrassed to do it.
So on May 15th, me and my sister went down there. The appointment only lasted about 5 minutes, and I explained all of my issues I have been struggling wiith. My doctor filled out a long sheet of blood tests I had to go take. He was very nice about the whole thing, and told me straight up I had come to the right place for help. He said he was going to refer me to a councellor, and we scheduled our next appointment for May 30th.
So today I got all the blood work done, and impatiently wait to go see my doctor for the results and what he has to say about them. It was also very cool peeing in a cup. I don't know why. It was just cool.
A councellor phoned me earlier today and we booked an appointment for May 31st. So I have a doctors appointment on the 30th to look over my blood work and discuss whatever, then the next day I'm seeing a councellor. I am pretty terrified of the whole thing, but this finally brings me to the whole point of me joining this site.
I just really wanted to get some feedback from people who have undergone treatment and what their results were. While I went through those few years of misery, it was always in the back of my mind that one day, down the road, it'll be gone and I'll be normal. My impression is that since i'm going to a doctor and a councellor, my problems are going to be fixed. They have to be fixed, because otherwise, it would mean the rest of my life is going to be just as miserable as the last three years were. And that's kind of a scary thought to ponder on.
But I digress.
So again, here is my question: Those of you who have undergone treatment, what have been the results?
I would greatly appreciate any and all feedback
And to those who actually read all of this, I am sorry for the 5+ minutes of your life I wasted lol!