So, the new year is here. And with it comes all sorts of unusual things.
For starters, D and I are no longer speaking. It's funny…reconnecting with him briefly was all it took to see why I let go of him. Glad to have him out of my life…again. A is moving in with me sometime soon. No…not for romantic reasons. He wants to get his life moving in the right direction. Is there a chance for us? Maybe. The most important thing is that he's my best friend. It's going to be kind of weird living with him, though. I think. I don't know. It's all the little what if's that bother me. Probably residual OCD, though January 1st marked 5 full months of remission. So…that's nice.
Max is starting back to training. I'm looking forward to that, because while he's a marvelous pal, he's also a biter. It's so strange, because he's been so gentle for the most part while I've had my unspecified cold/flu virus thing and ear infection. I wish it would clear up already. I don't have time to feel like this. I'm sleeping like crazy and school starts in a few days. Yes…school. I haven't been in classes in so long, and now…back to school. Despite always carrying a high GPA, it worries me. I don't want to do poorly. And while I had something of a laissez-faire attitude through my undergraduate years (ok…AND all except like…one semester of my graduate years), everything seems more important now. The silly thing is…these are very dull courses and should be quite simple. And I've glimpsed one syllabus…and…the work is kind of…easy. I'm wondering, though, if I'm not taking it seriously enough or something. That…well…maybe the classes will shape up to be more difficult than they seem. And while I've got plenty of time for them, it seems like a ridiculous amount of reading for the credit hours. Expensive, too. I just spentalmost two hundreddollars on books for the one class.Necessary, though. Got to get the work done.
Right now, I feel very lonely. I guess because I missed the day and haven't spoken to much of anybody except Max. And…because I've spent almost a week like this. There's only so much being in bed I can stand. I want to get some cleaning done. Everything feels rather muddled and hurried. At least the renovations are done. Painting is over. Flooring is over. I think…I might be disappointed in myself over certain goals that I haven't reached yet and sort of let go of for a while. The last several months have been difficult and my energy has been directed toward handling one set of issues and not the other…and it feels like that other set has piled up. I know, technically, it hasn't really. It's just a matter of getting back on track with everything. Still, late at night and feeling the way I do, it all seems like so much. Ah well. I got my first assignment for the one class done (I think). Now I just have to stay on task until the end of April…when…maybe…I'll take spring/summer term off (since most of my courses aren't available then). I can save some cash for fall semester. And so on…and so on. Well. To bed. Thank you for reading.
