Even though I am only 26, I feel like I have been through a lot in my past. From my parents divorcing when I was 14, to my mum having a stroke unexpectedly when I was 16, which turned my whole world upside down. I have also done some things in the past that I am not proud of and wish I could go back and do things differently. But I am torn. If I hadn’t of gone through these things, would I be where I am today? Would I be the person I am today? I am happy with where I am in my life right now, but the past sometimes comes back to haunt me. I feel as though every time I achieve something, it gets overshadowed by the bad things, like I ask myself, do I really deserve what I have achieved? I have worked so hard to not beat myself up and to convince myself that I do deserve everything I have worked so hard for. Does any body else ever feel this way? Like I can be laying in bed trying to go to sleep and suddenly all these bad memories will come rushing back to me and my anxiety goes through the roof! I have talked about these things in CBT but the memories just wont seem to leave me alone. I only ever try to be a kind, genuine and loving person and I hope that one day I will be able to be completely happy with myself and free from unwanted memories. Why can’t the past just stay in the past?!
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I have the same problem. I constantly dig up old things that really don’t matter, but I still worry about my response, or inwardly cringe at myself. I’m working on being nice to myself, too. Honestly, I think the hardest thing is to forgive yourself. Maybe just try to breathe and think about something good about yourself? Just keep working on trying to be patient. That’s what I’m trying to do, too. We can do this together. I’m here for you!
It is such a horrible feeling isn’t it! I do try to distract myself and think of other things, but its like the thoughts have embedded themselves in my memory and choose the worst times to come up! Thank you for your advice and support, I appreciate it 🙂 We can do this together, I am here for you too !
Hey Jessiie!! We don’t know each other, but trust me, I know how you feel. I am also 26 and I have been through similar stuff. I know these thoughts haunt, but I will be honest here, there is no way other than going through them, and when you reach the other side, you will be a different person altogether. The new version may or may not be better, but will definitely be much stronger. These memories may never go away entirely, but will stop hurting this much eventually, trust me on this!!
Thank you, it is reassuring to hear that although it may not go away completely, it will get better!
Hello Jessie, I know a little bit about how you feel. Im in a good place in my life and have been blessed with the people and things that I have, but often wonder why iam deserving of them. One thing I’ve learned is that no matter how much we would like to change our past and to have done things differently, I cant go back in time. Every single person on the planet has regrets and things from our past that haunt us. The most important thing to do is LEARN from our mistakes and experiences, and know what to do or not to do in the future. That way we can take the negatives from our pasts and turn them into positives for the future. Hope you can come to more peace with your past, look onwards to a new brighter horizon, dont get stuck in the dark shadows of the past. =) hope this helps a little, have a great day!
Hey, thank you so much! It’s so nice to have other people’s advice and to know that I am not the only one