Entry 5 –

No big blog style entry today, not as many updates. Instead I will be doing my worry thought log, as I feel it helps me regulate my anxiety throughout the day. Yes it surprisingly works for me!

Okay here they are:

I woke up too late again, I’ll never be anything I am waking up late because of what happened a few days ago with the helicopters, my schedule is out of whack so it will take a few days to fix it. Besides, it’s the changing season, since it is getting colder now it will take a few days to get used to waking up to such a cold room. After a few days I’m sure I will adjust to this change and it will be a lot easier for me to get out of bed not just wake up with a little determination! Side note I will consider buying a small heater this year.

I didn’t exercise enough yesterday and I feel like it will lead to palpitations Well so what? I can do more exercise today, and tomorrow and the day after that! If I’m not getting enough exercise/outside time then all I have to do is structure my schedule better and spend less time sitting/more time doing.

Me and my friend will never be able to get through our project in time That’s not true, actually we both agreed to divide the work up nicely and work harder our next session so that the work gets done in time!

I still haven’t heard back from the job what if they don’t hire me? Well then it’s there loss because I’d be great for that role. In the mean time, who cares, let’s apply to more jobs while we wait for their response!

What if I die alone? Nothing, it’s not that big of a deal. And for that matter, would you really want to die alone AND be worrying about it, or just die alone but be free of worry? I think the latter is the more sensible option.

I can’t get on that train. Here’s a novel idea, you can and you will and it won’t even be a big deal.

Okay well what if I have to use the bathroom? I’ll hold it till I get off the train and go home.

But what if it’s an emergency? Well then I’ll get off on the soonest available stop and find a restroom. At this point urination isn’t an issue for me because I’ve demonstrated time and again I can hold it when I’m outside for a few hours except in special circumstances when for some reason I have to go really bad the second I get to my destination.

What if I don’t do enough today and am less productive than yesterday? Well then so what, I’ll do that stuff the next day. There’s no need to worry about work you can’t finish today. You are already tired from the work that you did do and don’t need the extra stress.


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