I woke up at 6am this morning, took a warm shower and I wanted to wear a dress. I wanted to feel good today. It was only the beginning of the morning. I got to my job poured my coffee getting ready for the day. I got on my phone to go to facebook and im looking through everyones stories. I have this one girl I went to school with and on her story she had a picture of my ex boyfriend kissing her hand while he was driving. I was speechless. A feeling filled my chest my toes and head. I had the urge to cry. Because I knew there really was no going back.

Can’t go back to our noodle nights, long drives, going out to eat, going to new places together, no more family holidays, no more walks in the evening. They were all over. That hurt s much to realize all in a moment. Deep down I did have feeling fro him strong ones, I was scared because I was moving fast with him. but now I guess thats all over and cant be spoken about. If i truly wish to heal I can just stop thinking about it after i process, no more talking about it. No more thinking he will ever have something more to say to me.

My hands are shaking and my breath is hard to catch… I loved him.. i really did and somehow he broke that for sure i know that..