My least favorite time of the year is here.   The unpleasant and deadly (allergy)  for me spice smell (cinnamon) spice now is in many stores.   Yay! Not so much! I have to wear a mask even in non covid times in stores because of cinnamon

Normally, we don’t even put up a Xmas tree up until December 11th.   It has no regular green and red.   I usually decorate the porch in non Santa cute (no regular green and red at all)  I went with  polka dot lime green and hot pink

However, this year will be different   The front porch is now going from fall themed to spring themed!

The tree doesn’t go up until a week or a few days before Xmas   It will come down the second that presents are opened

I am a child abuse / neglect survivor.   The alleged biological egg and sperm ingredient humans were the $@“@&@‘ obnoxious decorated house with lights and  light up tacky plastic. The news stations would come out and film.

What was life like in that house?

$&”&. Yes it was…..

The inside lights weren’t allowed to be used and the heat was hardly turned on.  Food was  very limited.

However, they bought new cars every year and bought fancy new clothes.

I had to babysit the children after school that the alleged egg donor was hired to watch but she kept all the money.   I was unable to do my homework at home    Yet at school teachers tore up homework that I found time to do at school    They would have affairs and take me on their dates    I was taken to video stores back when there was a adult porn section behind a red curtain   I was a little girl left unattended with a very young alleged sibling   He would go behind the curtain and sleazy men would try to get me leave with them

Then we would return to that house and he would say we had a few minutes to find something to eat      We were timed   Then even though it was very early we were told to stay upstairs and we weren’t allowed downstairs for any reason    He would then turn the television away from the stairs and play porn tapes   He would jerk on his “@&&

People thought I was so fortunate.   I rode in nice cars .   I lived in the famous Xmas house    The house was well decorated

I was dying of toxic shock syndrome.  I showed them the information and my temp.   They refused to take me to the hospital    They decided to take a vacation instead. Then they took me   The doctor didn’t think I would live    He tried.  He had just lost a patient my age with it and she ended wasn’t as far gone as me

They shot guns at each other in the house and threw things    I had just patch the bullet holes and clean up the broken items   I had to clean the whole house, cook and iron    I didn’t get a allowance   I babysat and bought every thing I needed from a car . food to clothes

Alleged male sibling and was given a car, clothes and he was violent with towards and tried to rape me

Alleged male bio parent was standing by me when I woke up with my nightgown pulled up.   He looked guilty and said he was there to cover me up

My female role model/ mother in my heart corrected them when they told her I was worthless and not worthy or college   They refused to sign the form for me to take pre college courses    She told them I was worthy!

She is would hire me to help her babysit her grand children knowing my situation   She loved me and she will always be my hero

I was violently raped by a classmate before high school graduation   Then he offered to be my pimp because he said I was worthless now

Please like this so that I know someone cared enough to read it

Thank you  for reading.

I don’t like Xmas season and now you know why

Have a safe and content day