Not eatten in two days, and i really dont want too!
Food has become a massive issue with me at the moment, i dont know why, im trying to starve myself. i think its my day of crying out for help. i can never just say to somebody 'i need help' i do harmful things , like when i used to drink alot, and i ended up in hospital, and self harming, its just my way to try and get help. i wish i could just scream i need help. but even if i did, i have a feeling nobody would hear me.
im now signed onto job seekers, its a benifit, and im forced to look for work or else i dont get any money. and iv only been on it, like 4days and its already killing me, so far they have made me be out everyday, it has tookme out of the comfort of my home, and its really stressing me out. im finding it really hard, i feel like a 13 year old in a adults world. i know im not 13. but sometimes i feel like i am, i was pushed to grow up far to soon, and i am no way ready for this! i mean i dont want to worry about money, or about if they is food in the house. but i have too. i am so close to checking myself into hospital. but the only thing stopping me is my mum. she thinks im completely fine. and i dont want her to know im struggling, because i need to be strong for my mum. but i dont think i can be for much longer. my mum is ment to be the one who needs help. not me.