I had a pretty traumatic 2017, past issues of trust and abandonment came back to haunt me. I’m just getting out of the deep depression I fell into. For the first time, my family was openly aware of my mental health. My mom was cauctious with me, she was actually being a mother and wanted to make sure it wasn’t going to get worst to a point where I could hurt myself. My sister, however, decided there was a time limit to my recovery. I don’t know know why I fall for it when she allows me to talk about my issues only for her to snap at me for being broken. This past weekend I had about all I could handle of her and haven’t responded to any of her messages. Even her text asking why I wasn’t responding to a picture she sent. On Friday, she allowed me to talk about a certain trigger for me. Her openness shifted into a lecture about something I said about having issues from 2012 and that wasn’t okay. Then bringing up a family friend that passed in November and how I was making that loss about me. I’ve gone to so many funerals but this was the first time in almost 8 years where the funeral actually affected me. In 2010, my great grandmother and grandfather both passed months apart. That events still haunts me and I was revisiting it, having this deep seeded fear of having to experience the family war that I had during the funeral. I knew it wasn’t going to happen because it’s a totally different family that actually loves each other. I think it’s just my post traumatic stress that makes me fearful of certain events happening again. After the loss of the family friend, while others were clueless of how to offer condolences I knew from experience what they were feeling having lived through a similar situation. My sister snapped at me for still thinking of 2010 as I should be able to laugh at those predicaments by now. She then asked if I was still in therapy then suggested I tell my therapist to tell me to snap out of it. Snap out of it, it’s been almost a year. Every trauma you’ve faced is in the past so it’s laughable now. I’m really resentful for her making me feeling like crap because I’m not fully recovered. She’s not realizing she’s been pushing me away.