Went for a ride last night in the rain..not sure why.i was out in my truck and saw the big black clouds comming in from the west and just wanted to hit the road and see if I could skirt it as it crossed the city.plus i just love that still thick air before a storm mixed in with the eratic cool breezes from the approaching rain.
Cousre wasn\'t long before i got drenched..and i mean really drenched, was just comming down in sheets like torrential downpour..it was ok though,actually pretty cool, nothing like a warm summer rain I\'ve always said and theres something almost enjoyable about a rain or thunderstorm as long as your watching it from a warm and dry place..or at least, in my case, not far from one.If I hadda been stuck miles from home in it it would have sucked but as it was me and my bike got a nice rush, came home and dryed off to watch the rest from the back patio.
Been feeling really good lately..not sure why..my shrinks taken me off my meds, lamictal..been taking it for like 8 months or longer now as he says i\'m bipolar and clinical axiety.Thought it was really helping though..keeping me more together and stuff..thought so.
Had to go off the med though since i developed a rash that could be life threatening i guess, i upped the dose when i shouldn\'t have and now its all for not..not sure what happens now..rash is almost gone and really didn\'t seem like that big of a deal to me, kinda like a sunburn really..i don\'t see him teil the end of the month and all he gave me is some clorazepam in the mean time..it does mellow me out abit so maybe thats helping.
Was pretty depressed the first day i went off but i\'m realy suprised at how good I\'ve been feeling last few days with out the pills..i mean what gives.
I\'m not even really stressed about anything really..my application for the trillium foundation, my taxes..anything..i\'ve pretty much done everything i can so why worry i guess..its all up to god or whoever it is thats running thus show and hey i still have a job, a roof over my head, my health some friends and family so things could be worse.Alot worse.
Course this could just be the calm before the storm..the one that blows my precarious card house of a life of mine asssunder..like last nite..the calm thick air full of potential just before the storm comes..
We\'ll see I guess..in the mean time i\'m rollin with this whole happiness thing..I feel good and its pretty cool..and thats one thing i think being off the pills has showed me i think..is that i\'ve been pretty depressed for quite sometime..but thought i need more meds when in actual fact maybe i needed less?
My life is so crazy sometimes..or maybe its the doctors that are.I\'m pretty sure its just life in general though. utterly insane , possibly pointless and exquisitly sad and yet fantastically beaultiful and magical all at the same time.
Maybe its just like they say eh, life is what you make it..
Hope you all are riding your own storms with your face in the wind and your shoulders square!
Thanks for poppin by..