It’s a beautiful Saturday, y’all! I’m sitting on my back porch, jamming to some tunes, and my husband and daughter are napping. This is the life!
Over the past week, I’ve given myself the gift of a break, which has led to more reflective time, which has led to a realization: I operate best when I’ve had a period of alone time in the morning and in the evening. A friend of mine reminded me that it’s perfectly ok and healthy to take this time for myself as long as I’m flexible about it. I reminded her that flexibility is not my strong suit, and we laughed. But for real, my default setting is so not “flexible,” and it’s something I’m actively working on. I’m getting side-tracked now, so anyways…
Part of me feels like I’m selfish of deficient in some way for needing “extra time to digest life” in comparison with others (in my own comparison that is in no way grounded in fact); the other part of me feels secure in acknowledging and accepting this need. Being so self-critical can really be exhausting! I feel like I always have 2 opposing perceptions at play, which makes it hard to decide what I actually think. My initial thought is usually to judge myself harshly, with my opposing thought mothering myself and saying, “girl, give yourself a break! You are doing too much!” I like that part of me. The self-critical part gets on my nerves. Can you tell?
So yeah, I’m writing today just to acknowledge that I need to give myself alone time each day, and that CAN’T be something I give up when I go back to work. I have got to take better care of myself! All I’ve got is this one little body, and she’s going to have a heart attack if she doesn’t chill out!
Welp, I’ll write soon!