Lately I’ve fallen back into a deep depression. I’ve been having trouble getting out of bed. Only been able to eat 2 meals in 5 days. I’ve been feeling sick the whole time. And sometimes I get these thoughts I can’t control. Where maybe I am going for a walk and some car hits me it’s out of my control. Or I swerve into a tree while I’m going to the store. Or maybe a mugging gone wrong. Pretty much any death that’s not a suicide because it wouldn’t hurt as long for anyone if it was an accident. I always have stopped myself because I dont want my family to feel how I do. I don’t think I’d ever kill myself as long as theres one thing to live for. I just cant get these thoughts out of my mind. Alot of times I feel worthless. A waste of space. But I know I’ve felt this way before. I also know I like to change my words to try to make things not seem as bad as they are after saying how bad. I really want to be able to be helped but I dont want people worrying.